Page 66 of Perfect Assumption
“He’s nothing like the media portrays him and so much more than I could have ever given him credit for.”
“Has he kissed you?” Sula’s question isn’t probing because she’s trying to get the skinny on Ward. I know in my heart she’s taking the pulse on my well-being.
“Once.” My memory immediately calls up the scent of sweet chocolate enveloping us as his lips grazed against mine. “But it might seem crazy.”
“What?” she asks eagerly.
“I remember being kissed before everything that happened. But since he figured things out, the way he acts toward me is much more intimate than a kiss. It’s like he knows my heart’s just coming back to life and he cherishes being along for the ride.”
Sula sighs. “That may be the most romantic…hold on. Back up. He figured things out? Everything? He knows what happened at school?”
“Well, no. But after we went to Redemption and my attack there…”
“Stop talking.” Sula’s voice is no longer dreamy. She’s pissed. “You had a panic attack at Redemption? We’ve talked since that night, Angie!”
“I know! But, I couldn’t tell you…”
“Couldn’t tell me what?” she snaps.
“It was Ward who set it off.” My voice cracks. “Oh, God. What am I trying to do? Why do I think this can be healthy between us?”
“Breathe. Let’s talk it out. Please, tell me what happened that night,” she pleads.
So I do. When I’m done, she muses, “It wasn’t him, sweets. It was simply a flashback. Your doctor said you would have those.”
“I was doing fine. I was dancing. Do you know how long it’s been since I danced?”
“With or without me?” And that’s when I realize that over three thousand miles away, my best friend is crying just as hard as me. “I’m in awe of you every single day for the simple act of getting out of bed. And here you are, ten years later, dancing? You’re a bloody miracle.”
“Careful, Sula. You’re starting to sound Irish.” I swipe my fingers across my cheeks.
“Well, I’m about to sound like a prophet. You need to tell him the truth.”
As if she were sitting across from me, I hold my hand out to ward off her words. “No. How can I? He already guessed enough.”
“Because it’s going to fester in between whatever is growing between you both until it breaks you apart. Give it time. You’ll know when it’s right. But if he’s the one your heart wants, you’ll feel it’s the right thing to do,” she predicts.
While the part of me that was raked over the coals so publicly shies away from her words, the part of me that’s worked on the side of justice for too many years recognizes the truth in her words. Ward and I can only go so far without him knowing the truth. Hayden inferred as much earlier when he said,“Just know he’ll recognize the truth, Angela.”
“All right. Before this goes much further, I promise you, I’ll tell him. But Sula?”
“Yes?”
“What happens if everything changes?”
“No matter what, everything is going to change. That’s life. I’m just grateful you’re finally living it.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant. And I don’t know, Angie. But I’ll always protect you with every resource at my disposal. You know that.”
“You always have,” I declare loyally.
“No.” Her voice is tragic. “If I had, you wouldn’t have lost some of the most precious years of your life.” Before I can say anything in response, she asks me another question about Ward.
We spend hours talking about my everything and what she declares is her nothing. Because that’s what you do with your confidant in the dead of the night when you’re scared.
You hold on.
