Page 4 of Unconditionally With Me
Chapter 2
~Eleanor~
The next morning, Trina meets me at our favorite diner, Shecan, for breakfast which is just blocks away from my apartment in the Bronx and used to be the only place she could afford to treat herself long before she and Jonas got married. In both of our opinions, it still crushes the food you can get in downtown Manhattan for triple the price.
After exchanging quick hugs, she waits until we’re seated before saying anything. Then, her words bring back a million memories—the good kind. “This is the same booth where Jonas tripped all over his tongue bartering with me not to review this place.”
“What did he use to convince you?” I ask curiously as our waitress holds up a pot, and I hold up two fingers as she zooms by.
“I had the twins with me that morning. He wanted to eat with us. Plus, I had to order for him.”
“Boy, the man’s a master with the woo,” I laugh even as two clean cups, a bowl filled with cream, and steaming hot coffee magically appear in front of us. “Thanks.”
“No problem, ladies. Flag me down when you’re ready to order.” The waitress scurries away.
We doctor our coffee, and both of us sigh in delight over that first perfect sip before Trina teases, “Like his brother isn’t.”
“Julian’s different,” I protest. And never have truer words been spoken.
At first, when I started dating Jonas’s twin, I wondered if I was going to be getting a carbon copy of Jonas Rice, intellectual food critic. But somehow, I found who I thought was the male reflection of myself: fun-loving and giving.
And yet, Julian has never indicated he wants to take our relationship further. It was me who first handed him an extra apartment key, who recommended he leave a few things at my place, who cleared out closet space. His reciprocating gesture was almost an afterthought.
I don’t worry about Julian straying—that’s not in him. He’s just…him. For the longest time, I’ve been content with him loving me in his way. And he’s happy, content. And I was, am, should be. I truly have been. But I’m so terrified of commitment ever since my time with Erik, I’m afraid of broaching the next level with Julian. It’s not that I don’t crave it; I do. I equally fear it.
But the blame isn’t mine alone. Julian has never indicated he wants more than what we have. At least, he’s never said he does. I feel my brow begin to twitch over the mad rush of thoughts twisting and turning inside my own head.
“What is it? What aren’t you telling me about you and Julian?” Trina demands.
“Nothing. Everything is exactly the same as the last time you asked me.” In fact, after the first six months, I’m not certain anything’s changed. We get together two or three nights a week, dinner or sometimes we go out. Then we end up at one of our places. It’s simple, perhaps too simple.
Trina balls up a napkin and throws it at me. I catch it before it can fall into my coffee. “You two need something to shake you up. I mean, after all these years, the two of you don’t even live together,” she declares.
Unbidden, images of the letter I received float through my head, but I quickly shake my head.
“What, no you don’t want to live together?” Her voice is incredulous.
“I’m not saying no to that.” Although something I thought I craved more than a Michelin star suddenly sets my anxiety spiking. To cover it, I drink some more coffee. “I’m merely astounded by the amount of time you give to thinking about it. Jonas should be concerned about your fascination with his brother’s love life,” I toss back.
“It’s your love life too. And there was a time when you told me more than I wanted to know about it.”
Oh, well. I lean forward so we can’t be overheard. “You mean you want to know more about the way he sucks on…”
She flushes bright red. “Stop! No, I don’t want to know that, and you know it.” Her hand comes to rest on top of mine. “But Elle, I do want to know if he’s making you happy. Something was wrong yesterday. Just because things have changed in my life doesn’t mean I don’t have time for the one person who understood every nuance of mine as well as I did.” Her fingers tighten on top of mine.
I have to look away, because she’s right. She’s always been my person. But I can barely wrap my mind around the information the attorney told me. I flip my fingers under hers and squeeze. “Give me a little bit of time, okay?”
“Just tell me this.”
I cross the fingers of the hand she can’t see under the table. “Okay.”
“Are you sick?” Trina’s face is pale.
I quickly uncross them and lay both hands on top of hers. “T, I’m not sick. I’m just working through a few things in my head.” Okay, maybe my heart is a bit sick, I add silently.
“Do you promise that’s it?”
“I do. Now, tell me how my godchildren are doing?” Annie and Chris, Trina’s twins, are six years old now. Both look exactly like their mother, which means they’re absolutely gorgeous. Something Trina confirms by saying, “A girl tried to kiss Chris on the playground.”
