Page 27 of Unconditionally With Me
Trina names the restaurant. “But don’t call them. I’ll have Jonas do it for you.”
“Oh-kay.” I draw out the word.
“Julian had made some special arrangements which he might want to keep for later,” she explains.
“Right. Got it.”
“You sound…better. Less upset,” she probes tentatively.
I fall back against the couch and admit, “I am.” Then I hurriedly add, “I never was with you, but I was with myself. Julian has forced me to find myself in the last few days.”
“What do you mean?” I hear her open and close the fridge.
“Asking me questions, opening up. And it works both ways.” I chew the end of my nail. “I honestly think I know more about what he wants next out of life since I had my mini-meltdown than before.”
“And does it mesh with what you want, Elle?”
I call up everything Julian and I talked about—how he doesn’t want the life he’s been leading. His missing a family, his family. The little bits of knowledge that make him…Julian. Someone I know who will be there for me unconditionally. “Yes. I know it does.”
“Then that’s all that matters. How many more days do you plan on being out there?”
“You know? I’m not sure. We meet with the attorney tomorrow, so I’ll have a better idea after that.” After saying goodbye to Trina with a promise Jonas would deal with the reservation, I think about everything I said—all the things I’ve said as I’ve rediscovered who I am.
I’m Eleanor Bruder—baker, friend, and no one’s damn doormat despite the hurt that happened to me years ago. Julian’s never been anything like Erik, so why have I held back the full measure of love I have for him? How come I have left myself with only crumbs of the dessert I could have been indulging in this whole time? “Fear. Nothing but fear. God, Elle, you have been living a life on hold.”
Well, no more.
“Now the question is, do we stay the full two weeks, or do we go home?” But I won’t make that decision without Julian. So much depends on what we both feel when we see this building. Does it hold the key to our future? No, no matter what, we hold that.
Together.
Smiling, I reach for the room service menu to determine what to order for our impromptu stay-in.
* * *
It’s almosttwo hours later, and I’ve signed off on the room service bill when I hear Julian stirring. The sun is setting when I hear him shout, “Shit!” just before there’s a mad rustling of sheets and blankets.
I call out, “Don’t worry! I phoned Trina, who asked Jonas to deal with the reservation.”
Julian appears in the doorway with his jeans barely clinging to his hips. His thermal has risen up to display his abs just like I would before my hands would slip all over him like a lover’s caress. I can’t help but lick my lips in appreciation of the male beauty in front of me. “You did what?” he asks, drawing my eyes upward.
“You were exhausted, Jules. You needed the rest more than we needed to eat out, so I decided it was more important to stay in. You know, it’s my job to take care of you too.”
He gapes at me just as there’s a knock at the door. I stretch my cramped muscles before I stand. Brushing past him on the way to the door, I encourage him by nudging him back into our bedroom. “Take a shower. Throw on something comfortable. But don’t take too long,” I warn. “That should be room service.”
“Room service?” he repeats.
There’s a knock at the door again. “Be right there,” I respond before physically turning Julian and giving him more than a gentle nudge back in the direction from which he came. “Go clear the cobwebs. I guarantee you’ll be hungry for what I ordered.”
Without a word, Julian turns away. I rush to the door to let in the bellman. “Thank you so much for waiting.”
“No problem, ma’am. Where would you like for me to set up?”
I gesture over at the coffee table where I was watching aWorst Cooks in Americamarathon while Julian slept. I used the time to clear the clutter of my mind to find the peace of my heart. It’s something I should have done long ago. Probably with Trina at my side and a box of wine, but hey. Better late than never.
Erik and Will falling in love with one another wasn’t either of our faults. It happened. I knew flat out going into my relationship with Erik he was bisexual. And for a long time, we worked. Until we didn’t. That doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of demanding the kind of love I want.
The forever kind.
