Page 79 of Challenged By You
Chapter 29
Jonas
“How do I fix this?” I ask my brother, who’s lying on my couch while I text Trina again.
And again.
Still with no response.
“Did you think that maybe, just maybe, she’s listening to doctor’s orders and not looking at her phone?”
Lifting my head up from my phone for the first time since Julian got here a half hour ago, I say deadpan, “Not a chance in hell. If it wasn’t for the fact her boss was with her the night of the accident, I know the stubborn woman would already be back at work.”
Julian shifts from the negligent position he’s been in to sit at attention. “You haven’t said what happened, Jonas.”
Ducking my head, I type out,I miss you. I miss the kids. Please talk with me, T.Pressing Send, I find my own eyes looking at me from a few feet away without the turbulent emotions in them. “I panicked,” I confess.
“What do you mean?” Julian sits up , bracing his elbows on his knees.
“I took her home after her run-in at Seduction. She was having a nightmare.”
“Understandable under the circumstances. She took a KitchenAid to the chin.”
“Because of me!” Flicking my phone to the table next to me, I stand and gesticulate wildly. “She was mumbling about apple recipes in her sleep. Apples,” I fling out in disgust.
Dawning comprehension lights Julian’s face. “And you…”
“Blamed myself,” I groan. “Intellectually, I know she was doing her job, but why did it have to be her practicing recipes for the review?”
Julian pushes to his feet and yells, “It wasn’t your fault, you ass!”
“I know. I’ve regretted leaving since the minute I closed the door behind me.”
“Good. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Jonas, I didn’t bring this up in front of Karlson because he harbors enough guilt as it is. Mom wasn’t supposed to work that day. She was called into work because someone had a baby. It had nothing to do with her being late; she was late already, you idiot.”
“A baby?” I repeat.
Exasperatedly, Julian asks, “When is Chelsea’s birthday, Jonas?”
“Oh, my God. The day after Mom died.” Suddenly a lifetime of justifications and fears—including the ones that irrationally sprung up in Trina’s apartment—suddenly cause my world to tilt on its axis. “Mom was covering for Aunt Lucy.” The words come out slowly as I piece together years of my life in a matter of moments. “It wasn’t the apple,” I repeat woodenly.
“I can’t believe you’ve been blaming yourself all these years.” Julian comes to stand next to me. His hands clamp down on my shoulders. “You are not to blame, Jonas. Bad things happen for a reason; we’re just not always privy to them. Especially not at six.” His voice is as sad as my face. Then it brightens. “But we had each other, we had Chelsea, Karlson, and Lucy. That’s so much more than other people had.”
I think back to what Trina told me about how lonely she was growing up with a mother who didn’t seem to care, and I manage to choke out, “You’re right.”
“What would happen if Trina didn’t come back into your life?”
I hedge. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Jonas,” Julian warns.
Letting out a deep breath, I wander over to a framed picture of me, Mom, and Julian taken so many years ago. “She’s already made the first half of my life mean nothing at all. With her in it, the world’s a completely different place. The minute I met her, I began to change.” Without turning, I let the pieces of my heart spill out onto the floor. “On the surface, we’re so different, but that’s a good thing. I’m forced to find the similarities, and they’re the important ones—love of family and friends, dedication, and a willingness to work hard. Trina’s loving and kind, but not a doormat. She challenges me and makes me want to be a better man. And because I was afraid, I may have lost it all,” I spit out. “What would happen in the second half? I’m very much afraid it would be like the first—empty.”
There’s an oppressive silence in the room that lasts so long, I wonder if Julian slipped out during my tirade. When I turn around, he’s thoughtful.
“What?” I demand.
“From what you described, she’s strong.”
