Page 62 of Challenged By You
“I still can’t get over why she loved them so much,” I muse as I pull my keys out when I hear my name crack out in the air.
I turn to find a different woman staring at me than the woman I’ve met at the door for the last seven months since I moved home. “Yes?”
“Maybe I’ve made this hard on you,” she begins.
I don’t say anything. I let my silence speak for me. Then again, I said everything I needed to the other morning in the hallway. I just regulate my breathing and wait for her to continue.
“It’s a tough road you chose, Trina. I lived it. I regretted it…”
Now, I do interrupt. “Regretted me. I know.” I turn and my shoulder brushes against Jonas’s as his arm goes from being around my back to keeping me tucked at his side.
“No! Never that. I didn’t have the skills to be something more like you did, to be the mother you are. I see what you give to those babies, and it makes me regret. And…it makes me mean.”
Tears I refuse to let her see prick my eyes. “I’m well aware of that.” I insert my key in the first lock by leaning over the top of the stroller.
“I was jealous how you had it all together, and even now, you barely needed me.”
“Between Elle and Jonas, they’ve helped me realize that. It was hard to accept that’s where your behavior stemmed from. I thought it was just the fact you hated me.” My next key goes into the next lock.
“I haven’t spent a dime of any of the money you’ve given to me,” she blurts out. I freeze in the act of sliding my key into the third tumbler. “How could I? What if Annie or Chris needed something? What if you did? Trina, I may not have agreed with your decisions, but I believed in your goals to provide your children with a better future. I figured I’d give you the money back when it was time…when it was time for you to go away again.” Her voice breaks at the end.
I spin around, mouth agape. My knees tremble. “What?” I can’t seem to get more than that out.
Mom steps forward and, bravely in my estimation, touches my hair. “You look so much like him. I never told you that, did I? Your hair, your eyes, it’s like falling in love all over again every time you walked in the door and my soul breaking every time you leave. And when you stood there and argued with me, all I could do was question whether he would have done the same.”
“Mom.” I can’t prevent the tears from spilling over. Pulling away from Jonas’s embrace, I reach out a hand for hers.
She grasps it with both of hers. “I just want you to find happiness, Trina. I want you to find someone who cares about you now, but also your future. And I hate the fact I’m a bitter old woman who doesn’t have that chance.”
Pursing my lips, I take in my mother’s youthful figure. “I wouldn’t say old. I’ve seen the way some of the men check you out when you’re walking to the senior center.” Much to my delight, my mother blushes. Squeezing her hand, I tell her truthfully, “Mom, there’s a lot for us to work through. Not all of it’s going to be easy. I can’t say I don’t have resentment built up.”
Nodding, she acquiesces. “I understand.”
“But why don’t you come inside and have dinner with us. Spend a little time with us. I’m making your favorite.” A quick glance over my shoulder at Jonas finds his eyes crinkled at the corners. My heart quakes at the way he’s stood at my back—the way no man ever has.
“Oh, God. Not mac’n’cheese. Let me run down at get some fish to go with it, at least. Then we don’t have to feel like we’re in eating in a preschool class,” she pleads.
“I could be persuaded to cook up fish,” I agree.
“Maybe, I’ll just bring a few other things down,” she mutters. Taking in Jonas, still strong and silent, supporting me, she holds out her hand. “Marla Paxton.”
“Jonas Rice.” He shakes her hand firmly before letting it go.
I hear stirring in the stroller. “Mom, let me get the kids inside. Just knock whenever you want to come in.” Tipping my head back, I ask Jonas, “Do you mind getting the last lock?”
I could get lost in the look in his eyes. “No problem.”
Then I hear, “Mama, Nono. Home?” Chris is awake.
“And there’s my cue to get someone onto the toilet. Hey, buddy. We just got here,” I lie.
“Okay. Inside?”
“Yep. It’s almost time for dinner.”
“Let me go get the stuff and I’ll be back.” Mom scurries away.
“Grandma?” Chris asks, confused.
