Page 46 of Easy Reunion
“What makes you think I’m an idiot?” she counters. Crawling in front of me, she grips my forearms and shakes me a little. But her small hands do little more than nudge me. “If you think I can’t see there’s something that still has a grip on you after all these years that would cause you to sabotage your happiness, then you must not think I’m as smart as you keep telling me I am.” Lisa lets me go, pushes to her feet, and turns to walk away.
“Lisa?” She stops. “I live with it just fine.”
“You don’t live with anything if you lash out at the people who make you afraid to look back at the past and feel good about themselves.” With that, she turns and leaves the kitchen. Her words hover in the air.
Shoving to my feet, I pick up the coffee in front of me to take a sip, but my stomach rebels at the idea of swallowing anything. I slam the mug down, and the force causes the handle to break off in my hand, leaving a small trickle of blood from the shard of chipped ceramic.
Aw, look at how well he’s taking it.
What a good newbie. Don’t hurt him too much. He still has to race this week.
Rough male laughter rasps at my ear, “You heard, Cap. So, no more of this.” Another sharp movement that seems to bleed into another.
As my body is released from the hold, I refuse to let them have the satisfaction of hearing me cry out, so I bite down on my hand.
And only I notice the small trickle of blood…
Snapping out of the memories, I realize I need to talk to Cade. If there’s one person who truly understands, it’s him. And before I can beg my sister to get me entry into Le Cadeau, I need to have an excuse for why I snapped.
Because I can never admit what happened. Not to anyone who didn’t live through something similar.
* * *
A few hours later,Cade and I are in a corner booth in a seedy dive in the Quarter. I just got finished explaining everything that’s happened since the night of the reunion. He’s been remarkably silent, which for my overly opinionated best friend is a damn miracle. “I don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?” I ask morosely.
“You’re not going to like my answer.”
“What?”
“You have to tell her.”
I immediately begin to shake my head. No way. No how. It took everything left in the withering part of that long-ago boy to explain to my father and the president of the school. There’s no way I can tell Kelsey what I never want to remember but can’t seem to truly forget.
He holds up a placating hand. “Not all of it. Hell, I’m not sure if I ever could. What we each lived through…” He shakes his head. “No one should have that in their heads.”
Since I agree, I don’t bother responding. I tag my drink and lift it to my lips, waiting for him to continue.
“But Kelsey may not be able to separate what happened on your graduation day from the man you are long term without understanding. You were her friend, Ry, then, suddenly, you weren’t.”
“I was her friend a hell of a lot longer than…”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cade tells me ruthlessly. “If you went by that logic, then you’d still be friends with—”
I cut him off. “I get your point.” There’s no way of that ever being the case. Ever. “So, I killed it all, everything we had between us?” My heart is crumbling inside of my chest to realize I held out hope for fifteen years for nothing.
“That’s not what I said.”
“That’s what you implied,” I snap back, before taking a drink.
“Jesus, Ry. When did you lose your ability to think?” Cade drawls sarcastically. “Would a woman who’s been so hurt by a man ever give him a shot if some part of her didn’t care?”
My eyes widen a fraction as Cade sighs. “You’re an idiot. From the moment you realized who she was again, you should have straight up apologized. You have to get her past thinking you’re the reason her life was such shit, Ry. From what you’ve told me, you were her safe harbor.”
“All except one time,” I say grimly.
He agrees. “Except that one time.”
There’s silence between us. “If I were her, I’d be holding back too—waiting to see if you’ve changed.” I start to squawk, and Cade holds up his hand. “Man, I know you weren’t like that, but think about it fromherpoint of view. She thinks you flipped on her. She doesn’t understandwhy.” His emphasis on the last word finally penetrates.
