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Under Chantay’s gentle care and Josh’s protective regard, I calm down enough to make it the additional fifteen minutes until my next pain dose. But this time, I accept the IV pain meds instead of the oral ones. I’m not ashamed to admit I want to feel the drugs running through my veins instead of the toxicity of my thoughts. It will be the last night I’ll be given such a haven as I know Cal will be back.

It doesn’t take long between the medicine and Josh stroking my hand that I’m soon dozing with that last comforting and painful thought.

36

Calhoun

Year One - Ten Years Ago from Present Day

It’s the fifth day I’ve driven out to Akin Hill. And maybe it’s just me, but every time I make the drive, the days seem to be getting shorter.

The light I’ve come to rely upon is fading.

I can’t unsee Libby curled up in her hospital bed, bruised and battered. Now that I’ve been told the whole story, I’m sick to my stomach knowing if her car was hit just a few feet in a different direction, her accident could have been fatal.

I could have lost her.

After I went back to the hospital the next morning, I understood why I was being forced to endure the censure from my wife and her family after Marcus dragged me out of the room to explain.

I wasn’t there when Libby needed me.

It doesn’t matter the lives I may have saved halfway around the world. What matters is my world might have ended.

My cell rings. I answer it with one hand. “Sullivan,” I bite off.

“Cal, how’s your wife?” Yarborough asks, concern in his voice.

“Resting. Healing. It’s going to take time.” Even to my own ears, I sound like I’m convincing myself.

“That’s good to hear. Sam did a little research earlier,” he begins.

“Sir, I want to remind you we’re not on a secure line,” I caution him. The last thing we need is for him to announce Sam hacked some poor schmuck’s database and is about to spend time in the big house because we didn’t have a warrant.

“I’m well aware of that, Sullivan,” he snaps.

“Sorry, sir. Continue.”

“There’s going to be some additional people visiting your wife today. Maybe after their update, she’ll be able to rest easier,” he tells me cryptically.

I take this to mean they arraigned the fucker who hurt Libby. “Would it be possible for me to pay their new distinguished guest a personal visit?” I’m really asking to visit the asshole who hit Libby for ten minutes. He’ll be dead, and I’ll feel much better.

“Negative. That will not be happening, Cal.”

“You’re no fun, sir.”

“Your only job is to take care of your wife. You are officially on leave until she comes home. Do you understand?” my boss declares.

You mean if she comes home, I think wearily. Every day I go to see her, the chasm between us just grows. A quick glance at the box in my passenger seat gives me a small measure of hope.

Small, but not much.

“Cal, do you understand? No calls, no coming to the office, no trips,” he enunciates.

“I’ll have to train or I’ll lose what’s left of my mind, sir. Things…they’re not good.”

“I thought her health was improving?”

“I meant between us. I fucked up, Rick.” Now I’m not talking to my boss, but to my friend. “I should have been able to have received those calls in Germany. The fact they didn’t come in…”