Page 112 of Ripple Effect
Year Six - Five Years Ago from Present Day - February
Life is not always about shitty timing, Cal. Sometimes it’s about shitty things being done or said. In my heart, I know there’s a part of me you’ve always wanted to come back to. I know all the secrets and the lies. I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me, but all you did was lie. Over and over. I need to figure out how to trust you again; how to believe you’ll stop hiding. I don’t know how to open a door you won’t walk through. And so do you. Once you’ve figured out where you said that to me, come find me. You should know where to look.
Her text has haunted me for two months since she left her parent’s care. If it wasn’t for the regular updates I’ve received from her parents and Josh assuring me Libby’s safe and healing, I’d have lost my mind.
Confession is supposed to help people move forward. With the way Libby held me so close to her after her ordeal on theSea Force, I hoped she would understand the motivation behind my work. And God love her, she did.
What she didn’t understand was the lies.
“I would have loved you, Cal, if you’d been a professor, a lifelong military man moving us from pillar to post, or the businessman you claimed to be.” Her bruised hand was clutching mine in the sick bay of theLassenat the time. Her swollen face was turned away from mine as my heart began to understand the emotional desolation she’s been living with the last several months. “Right now, I just can’t trust myself to never know if you’re lying to me,” she carefully explained. IV fluids were being pumped into her so there was enough liquid in her for tears. “It’s almost more crushing than what happened over there.” She waved her arm in the wrong direction of where theSea Forcewas.
I didn’t correct her. I was too busy trying to rein in the emotions. I knew I promised myself I’d let her go, but I just couldn’t. “Libby…” I choked out.
“I’m not the woman you married, Cal. I’m not sure if you ever were the man I did.”
I couldn’t hold back the wetness. I just didn’t want it to burden her then. Pushing to my feet, I whispered a kiss over her lips. “Let’s get you home. Celebrate with your family. Then…” I let the word hang there. In my head, I was pleading,Before you make any decisions.
She tipped her head back. “All right.”
Exiting the sick bay, I leaned back against the cold metal of the bulkhead. This was the part where I told myself it would be okay, where I loved her enough to give her what she was going to give me.
Freedom.
But I’m a selfish man who needs the sun to survive. And I haven’t seen it in months. Glaring at my shadow showing on the driveway outside the home I shared with Libby, I don’t notice the other car until I almost walk into it.
Sam. And he brought Josh with him. I don’t know whether to curse or be cautiously optimistic they have some news as to where Libby might be.
“Hey, man. Iris talked to Libby today,” Sam calls out.
I grit my teeth before I respond. “That’s great.” If there’s one thing I’m happy about, it’s that my wife has cautiously forgiven her best friend. Then again, it wasn’t Iris lying to her every single moment of every single day.
Josh shoves Sam before reaching out a hand, “Cal,” he says warmly.
I grasp it firmly. “Good to see you, Josh.” My brother-in-law and I have never been closer, our love of Libby bonding us in a way nothing else can.
“You’re a moron,” he tells me cheerfully, and not for the first time.
“I know,” I say mournfully as I let them both in the house that feels like a tomb every time I walk into it.
“Why don’t you just track her?” Sam demands a few minutes later after he’s snagged beer for the three of us from my fridge. He kicks up his feet onto the coffee table. Josh does the same.
I pop the cap off mine, flicking it next to his feet. Libby would have a coronary if she saw the three of us, I think with just a touch of amusement. Then a vein of bitterness runs through me. “She’d have to be here to have that coronary.”
I don’t realize I’ve spoken out loud until Josh answers me. “If you don’t go Sam’s route, then you have to dig down deep, Cal. You’re a trained investigator, for Christ’s sake. Before computers, what the hell did you do?”
“I was in school, I was in the military. There wasn’t a time when I didn’t have a computer at my disposal,” I growl.
Sam laughs. “Man, I remember back in college days when we couldn’t write a paper with all of our references being online sources. Even your class, Cal. Why did you have to be such a dick?” Sam throws a pillow at me I don’t even attempt to catch.
I’m too busy trying to breathe. “What did you say?”
Sam’s brow furrows. “I said, back in college you were a dick of a professor…” I surge to my feet.
Could it really be that simple?
“God, my life? It’s always about shitty timing.”
“Sam,” I say woodenly as I make my way toward the stairs. “I need you to cover at the office for a few days.”
