Page 89 of Ripple Effect
God, if love could heal wounds, then everything in the world would be fixed by the emotion on Cal’s face. “Baby, it wasn’t your fault.”
I choke up while I try to explain. “If I’d just picked up the phone…”
“Libby, nobody has the power to predict what would have happened if you did. What if you had? What if we agreed to meet and”—he knocks on the wood table next to him—“there was another wreck? We could have just as easily lost Angel that way.”
Dr. Powell interrupts us. “You named the baby Angel?”
We were so lost in each other, neither of us realize what Cal said. It’s me who admits, “Since it was his or her soul who saved mine, it seemed only fitting.”
He nods. “I want to go back to the phone call. What phone call are you talking about?”
“Cal called the morning I left for Malaga. And there was a part of me that wanted to pick up the phone.”
“What stopped you?”
What did stop me? I give myself a few moments to think before I explain.
60
Elizabeth
Year Six - Five Years Ago from Present Day – October 17
My bags are packed, my carry-on with my passport and my boarding pass for both the plane and the ship is waiting by the door, and I’m just waiting for the car to pick me up to take me to the airport.
Wandering over to the window seat, I pick up a pillow and hold it against my stomach, remembering last night when I called Josh to come up for a quick chat before I left. The shock on my brother’s face, followed by wonder, when I told him I’m barely two months pregnant is seared on my brain.
Squeezing the pillow tight, I wonder if that’s how Cal will react when I tell him. Because divorce or not, my husband has a right to know.
Leaning back against the window frame, I think about my explanation to Josh about why I wasn’t telling Cal until I got back from my cruise. “I’m tired, Josh. Every day is a strain. All I do is wake up and wonder what happened to my life, and I go to bed missing my last kiss. Every. Single. Day. I need something else to think about for just a little while before I wrap my mind around the fact I’m never going to be able to get Calhoun Sullivan out of my life—that I’m going to have to live with this pain day in and day out for the rest of my life.”
Josh opened his mouth to speak and then shut it without saying a word. He simply opened his arms. I walked into them, letting the warmth of his hug seep into my body. He pressed a kiss on top of my head and rocked me back and forth for a long time before whispering, “I’m going to love your baby, Libby.”
“I already do.”
And it’s true. Shifting the pillow to the side, I rub my hand up and down. “You’ll always be the piece of your father that I’ll cherish, little one. You have no idea how much you’ll be loved. Just knowing you’re a part of me is already giving me the strength I need. I know so many people would be questioning Fate right now, but I’m giving thanks for you in ways you can’t understand.” I’m about to say more when I hear my cell phone ring.
Sliding from where I’m sitting, I walk over to the entranceway and grab it. Cal Calling. For the first time since our anniversary, I debate picking it up. There’s an urge to share this news with him, but a wry curve twists my lips. Somehow, he’d yank me off that plane, and I wouldn’t get the time I need on the open ocean to get my head together.
Biting my lip, I don’t decline the call. I let it go to voicemail. Maybe later, I’ll actually listen to it instead of deleting it. But even though my attorney would tell me I’m about to weaken my position, he doesn’t know what I do. And the life of our child supersedes my bitterness. I don’t care if it kills me, I won’t let this precious child know an ounce of hatred between its father and me.
I pull up my text app and quickly type out,I’m sorry I missed your call. I’m on my way out of town.
Cal’s response is instantaneous.That’s okay. If I’d known, I would have waited on your gift.
It’s fine. I left him with Josh for him to begin house training.I add a swirling emoji at the end and press Send.
Cal types,LOL. I’m sure he appreciates that.
My thumbs hesitate.It was sweet, Cal. Thank you. I always wanted a dog.
I know. We should have got one before now.There’s a pause before,I miss you, Libs. Every moment of every day.My eyes close in pain when I read the words.
I miss everything,I admit. I continue to type,But I also can’t forget.
Libby, there’s so much you need to know.
Josh indicated as much.
