Page 90 of Close Match
“Make it Ev, sweetheart. After all—” He sends a warm look in my direction. “—you’re family.” Guiding a still-stunned Char out the door, he leaves the four of us standing there.
“Linnie, I never thought I’d say this, but who knew that day when you spit in that tube you’d hit the jackpot.” Raking her eyes over Monty, she adds on, “Possibly in more ways than one.”
“I’m just as amazed as you are. Now, let’s go get something to eat.”
* * *
If snackswith my family were hysterical, dinner is riotous. We’re all lounging around the kitchen trading jokes back and forth. It’s a testament to how much I’ve bonded with my additional family and how wonderful they are in general. They would have made terrific parents to a houseful of kids, I think sadly.
“What put that look on your face?” Monty asks me as I’m pulling coffee mugs down while Char is being told a story from Simon about his time in London.
“I was thinking about how wonderful your Mom and Ev are as parents. Wondering why they never had more kids.” Placing the last mug on the counter, I lean against it while the coffee brews.
Monty shrugs, but I see the wounds in his eyes. “I’m sorry if it’s too difficult…” I stammer.
“No, it’s not that.” He sighs and pulls me to him. “They tried for several years. Did the whole gamut of doctors, what’s wrong, and in the end they were told it could be a combination of things. Ultimately, they decided the stress it was putting them under wasn’t worth trying anymore. So, they changed their energy to helping others.” He shakes me a bit. “That’s why I was worried at first when we heard about you.”
“About me? Why?” And then suddenly it hits me. Because I was a child Ev had created with another woman. What would that do to Char inside? My heart crumbles when I think about how warm and gracious she’s been since the moment we first met. “Oh. Monty.” My heart hurts at the additional burden she carried.
“Hey, none of that. She’s okay.” He swipes his thumb across my cheek.
I reach up and squeeze his wrist. “Now I know where you get it.”
His brow lowers. “Get what?”
“You have this unconquerable strength that allows me to just trust you in a way I’ve never done before.” Reaching up, I pull his head down for a quick kiss. “It’s obviously inherited from your mom. For me, I spent a lot of time trying to build up that circle of trust. You were lucky to be born with it.” I brush his lips with mine one more time, then rejoin my family at the table.
But I do stop by Char and give her an extra-warm squeeze. “What’s that for?” Her lips curve.
“Just for being a great mom,” I tell her honestly and loud enough so Monty can hear me where he’s still standing near the coffeepot. He shakes his head before he grabs a handful of mugs.
But it’s true. If I ever get a chance to be a parent one day, I’d like to think I’d learn from the fearlessness of my mother and the soft heart of Monty’s.I could do it with the right man, I think, my heart jumping as Monty plunks down the mugs before turning to grab the coffee. There’s no reason I couldn’t soar to the skies and cuddle on the couch. No reason at all.
What about life says they can’t go together?
Fifty-One
Montague
It was simpler if I didn’t know how she felt about the whole thing, when I assumed she’d hate me if I crossed the room in the middle of the night. Then the choice wasn’t mine, but hers in a way. Then I knew I’d lose her if I took a drink. Then her brother-in-law came in drinking and she didn’t care. Beads of sweat pop out across my skin as Linnie’s body curled next to me boosts our combined temperature. Slowly, I lower the blanket down to relieve some of the heat.
Not because I’m going to move.
Little puffs of air that both soothe me and keep me awake at the same time. Even though I know it’s her breath as she inhales and exhales from her mouth, it feels like someone is sitting on my shoulder whispering lies where there should only be promises.
I shake my head to clear it, and it disturbs Linnie enough that she rolls away from me.Roll back, I mentally beg her. She doesn’t know it, but she’s the sentry keeping all the mistakes I can’t find the words for in the light of day at bay.Come closer and protect me from the pain.But she’s been fighting so much. I can’t ask her to fight one more battle, to take on one more burden.
Especially when she needs me.
I feel like I’m being tested, pulled in a tug-o’-war I can’t win without being split in two.Be strong enough. Be tough enough to be with her.My soul is screaming while the other side taunts,You weren’t enough before. People died.
Abruptly, I sit up in bed. I can’t handle it. I need relief. I’m about to swing my legs over when I feel a reprieve.
Then I feel the cool brush of her fingertips across my spine.
“Is everything okay, baby?” she murmurs sleepily.
“Yeah.” My breath comes out harshly. “Go back to sleep.” But she doesn’t. She crawls up behind me and drapes herself over my back.
