How in the hell is life fair?
Racing through the house, I find the nearest exit and run hell-bent for leather toward the studio my father gave me as a welcome-home gift.
Except this may not be home for long since he may be dying.
Forty-Four
Montague
“Could that have gone any worse?” Ev asks, running a shaky hand through his hair. Mom lays her hand on his knee, offering what comfort she can.
I have nothing to say right now because all I want is to run out the door behind Linnie. I need to find her and hold her, to let her know we’ll get through this together. Somehow in my heart, I knew she’d feel like this—wounded and in pain.
I’ve reached the point where I’m tired of keeping so many secrets. It’s destroying the relationship I have with my soul, and this one might have just destroyed the one that was blooming with Linnie.
“There’s one good thing,” Mom says softly.
“There is?” I ask incredulously.
“She didn’t leave.”
“That you know of,” I spew bitterly. Standing, I look down at the two people who raised me. “You forget the only reason she’s been here has been to get to know us. What did we show her? That we’re all a bunch of lying…”
“Montague!” Ev snaps. My mother’s hurt is stained on her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Ev, but I warned you this was going to happen.” I turn and stalk to the door.
“Where are you going?” he calls out.
“To try to find Linnie. To see if she’ll forgive one member of this family for their duplicity.” Hopefully, the one that’s developing feelings for her. As my fingers twist on the knob, I hear a soft laugh behind me. “I really can’t find anything about this funny,” I growl.
“One day, I’ll tell you what I think is both sad and funny about this moment, Monty. Now, go find your girl,” Ev says with a break in his voice.
Looking over my shoulder, I see my mother’s fingers being brushed back and forth across Ev’s lips as they have been so many time over the years. But his eyes are fixed on me. He nods, a crooked smile of sadness across his face. “Go, son. Find your woman to make sure she’s all right.”
If it wasn’t for the handle holding me up, I might have fallen to the floor. “And don’t try to tell me otherwise, Monty. For us Parrishes, sometimes all it takes is one look.” Mom’s head drops to Ev’s shoulder.
I gather my bearings before I say something I know I don’t say often enough. “I love you both. No matter what.” Before they can respond, I head out of the library in search of Linnie.
* * *
I check the studio first.She’s not there dancing out her anger and pain. Then I walk the perimeter of the farm along the fence line. I go through the stables; still no sign of her.
I’m about to give up and call her when I happen to glance up at the house and see movement on my balcony when I know damn well I didn’t leave the doors open earlier. Taking a chance, I jog through the kitchen and up the back stairs. There’s a light sheen of sweat on my skin despite the cold November air.
Sprinting down the hall to our side of the house, I fling open the door to my suite of rooms. The door crashes against the far wall, startling the woman curled up in the chair. She rises, and half a dozen tissues fall from her lap to the floor. The breeze picks them up. She bends quickly to grab them, her hair falling in front of her face. I can’t tell if she’s still crying or not.
My heart rate starts to even out, and I turn and close the door, flipping the lock. About thirty feet lies between us, but it might as well be miles. “I wanted to tell you,” I choke out. “From the first moment you were in this house.”
Her head tips back. “Ev didn’t?” I start to make my way closer, but she holds up her hand. “No, don’t come any closer.”
“Linnie.” I can feel, literallyfeelmy heart start to crack inside my chest. “I didn’t keep any secrets of my own from you.”
“No, you just helped keep the fact my father might be dying from me,” she lashes out. “There’s no way a man can—”
“Can what?” Ignoring what she said, I move closer. She twists the crumpled tissues in her hand.
She flings out her arm and the tissues she had in her hand come flying at me. I bet she wishes they were rocks, I think grimly. Instead, they land on the floor between us like the barrier Ev’s words created. “There’s no way a man can start feeling things for you while lying to you with every breath he takes,” she hurls at me. “And to think after yesterday, I’d begun to think…”