Page 102 of Close Match
Rising to my knees in the slippery tub, water sluices away from my body, but bubbles cling to my skin. I hold out my arms to this man who isn’t perfect but has become embedded in my skin, my bones, my DNA. If this bone marrow transplant works for my father, it’s as much Monty going into him as me, I think whimsically as his hard body pops the tiny bubbles between us.
His hand smooths over my skin slowly. “Are you trying to shed your skin like a snake with the water that hot, baby? I mean, a few more degrees and I could probably skim off the bubbles and sell the bathwater as l’essence de Linnie.” His tone is wry, but his face is wreathed in concern.
“I was cold and hurting,” I explain softly.
Nodding solemnly, he lets me go briefly. Moving near the head of the tub, he swings his long legs over the side so he can slide in behind me. “C’mere.” Holding his arms open, his chest is exposed, calling for me to lay my head on it.
I fall back against him and nuzzle close. Sighing, the whooshing of the water around us sets the rhythm for the beats of our hearts, slow and steady. “How’s Char?” I ask.
“Surprisingly calm. Either she should be on the stage with you, or she’s at peace with what’s going to happen tomorrow.” His hand tangles in the hair I twisted up earlier, causing the loose knot to fall. Tipping my head back, I look back at the man who has become everything to me in such a short amount of time.
“And you?”
Sliding his hands to my waist, he pulls me astride him. My breath catches as my breasts nestle against the scratchy hair of his chest when he sits up against me. Water splashes over the sides. Neither of us gives it any attention. “I sleep, and I hold a miracle in my arms, one sent straight from the stars. I know it’s going to be fine.”
I drop my forehead until it touches his. “No pressure,” I manage to get out.
“Baby, look at me,” I lift my lashes, and they brush against him as I do just that. “Ev made this choice. His doctors recommended this option, but it was his choice. You are the closest match he will likely ever find. Spellman said that to all of us.” He takes a deep breath I can feel against my chest and lets it out. “That makes it the greatest chance he will ever have. You know your father—he’s as analytical as they come. Do you think he’d be satisfied with for now when he can have forever?” I can see how difficult it is for Monty to get the words out.
“But what if it doesn’t work?” I voice my greatest fear. Because if it doesn’t, it’s not just my pain I’ll have to absorb. It’s Char and Monty’s. And they’ve loved Ev for so long. I don’t know how I’ll survive their disappointment.
How I’ll survive Monty turning away and breaking my heart when he realizes I’m not a hero, I’m just me.
“I don’t know,” he admits honestly. A knife of pain slices through my heart. “I do know I’m grateful you’ve forgiven me for not telling you the truth.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t yours to share. I understood.”
A soapy hand pushes my hair away from my face. “Still. It wasn’t my choice.”
No, I don’t imagine it was. Cupping his face, I brush a kiss across his lips. A low hum of pleasure emits from his throat. My soul sighs. Since the first time we made love, Monty hasn’t hidden a single reaction from me. “This isn’t another thing to carry guilt about, Montague.” The pleasure turns to a growl at the use of his full name. I smile against his lips before retaking them, this time tracing the seam with my tongue. He parts them to let me inside.
Our tongues duel back and forth in a slow dance. Steam billows up around us as we continued to convey everything in our kiss: fear, apologies, acceptance, and love.
Monty’s hand slides from the curve of my hip up my slick skin to play with my breast. Cupping its heavy weight, he thumbs the nipple back and forth slowly as I grip his shoulders. Ripping my lips away from his, I suck in some of the humid air. “Monty,” I whisper.
“Are you too sore from earlier?” he murmurs. Wordlessly, I shake my head no. “I need you, Linnie. I need you to stop the dreams tonight.”
“Yes.” Sliding my hands down, I find his flat nipples and tweak them. Monty lets out a harsh groan.
“Or maybe like this?” I ask as I duck my head and take one of the dark nubs into my mouth and suck. He bellows out a strangled “Aah!”
In the dark bathroom, as our bodies grasp for one another, we touch and share our strength. We kiss and share our hearts. I’m taken with a single thrust but give everything. There are no roles. I’m just me, but to him, I am everything.
I’m close to the edge. I know I’m going to soar high. The water we’ve splashed out of the tub has likely flooded the floor of the bathroom, but I can’t care. Monty’s fingers are working their magic on my clit, his mouth furious against my neck. So, I’m shocked when he pulls me down and holds me hard against his hips. His lips take my ear into his teeth and graze it before he speaks.
“You and I will be lost and found a thousand times before this is all over, Linnie. What’s ahead isn’t going to be easy,” the deep timbre of his voice says softly. My head lifts. I’m trapped not only by the strength of his arms but by the conviction of his words. “I promise you: we’re strong enough to last through the worst of this. This love we’ve found will survive anything.” He thrusts up hard against me, the heat of him jettisoning into me, his promise warming me from the inside out.
At that moment, I dive after Monty over the edge. My whispered “Yes” is a vow to him.
After, as I rest on his chest, he reaches for the drink he placed on the floor earlier, and my anxiety starts to seep back in about tomorrow, about all my tomorrows. But then I remember his vow—my vow—and I settle against him in the lukewarm water and dream, not knowing the pledge would be something I’d need to cling to in the most desperate darkness that would soon follow in the upcoming weeks and months ahead.
Sixty-One
Montague
I’m shaking in the dark as I hold her. If I didn’t need to drive in the morning, more than the amount I drank earlier would be warming my stomach. Part of me wants to vomit it all up. I replay my conversation with Ev over and over in my head while Linnie sleeps restlessly at my side.
“Monty, I want you to know I’m so proud of the man you are.” Ev’s weak voice had me leaning against the desk in his office for support. I got my legs under me enough to get to his liquor as he kept talking. “So strong throughout all this; so strong for your Mom, for me, for Linnie. I don’t know what I did in this life to deserve you, but I thank the Lord every day for it.”
