Page 74 of Free to Live

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“Joe,” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“Holly, we have to go. We’re going to be late picking up Jenna.” Her eyes dart over to the man. She nods.

“Don’t leave me empty again, Hols,” I beseech her. “Just promise me a chance to make it right.”

She shakes her head back and forth. My heart is in ashes at her feet. “I see.” I begin to back away. Until her trembling voice resurrects me.

“I have a wedding tomorrow. I don’t know when I’ll be done.”

Not caring if the man’s late, who Jenna is, or anything else, I surge into Holly with a force so strong, I lift her off her delicately sandaled feet. “Thank you.” My voice is so hoarse from unshed tears, I almost don’t recognize it.

“I have to go,” she repeats. “Joe, we really have to go.”

Slowly, I lower her back to the ground. Looking over my shoulder, I know my time is up. “Who is he?”

“That’s Jake, Em’s fiancé. We’re picking up his daughter at Grand Central for a family thing in the city.”

Oh. “Sorry,” I call over.

He snorts. “No, you’re not. Hols, if you’re not in this car in point two seconds, you can drive in on your own. I have a college boyfriend to torment.”

Before she can say it, I guide her to the passenger-side door. “Go. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Without another word, she slides into the seat. “Okay, I’m ready.” I close her door reluctantly.

Jake slams his door shut, and within seconds they’re out on Main Street. Standing there, I realize for the first time in years, I’m not scared about what the next day’s going to bring.

I’m excited for it.

40

Holly

I’m terrified as I pull into Joe’s driveway the next night.

Although he tried to find a babysitter so we could talk, his mother’s come down with a bug that she doesn’t want to pass along to Grace. So, despite my offering to postpone our conversation for a later time, his growled “If you think I’m the only Bianco who’s missed you, then you’re very wrong” convinced me I should hightail it over there.

Earlier today, I also received a phone call from Brett and his extremely nervous sister, Melissa—the blonde I saw him with. She assured me Joe would give me a full explanation later, but that he was like another older brother to her. She didn’t feel right about my going in without understanding there wasn’t actually anything between them—ever.

I find myself even more confused. I was prepared for him to tell me he had found someone just like his deceased fiancée. Now, I don’t know what to think other than the fact the man who stood in front of me last night doesn’t just want to be friends.

But what he wants to be, I have no idea.

Ali pulled me aside after dinner last night to let me know she was there if I needed a shoulder to cry on. “You’ve been doing this by yourself for too long, Hols. This is one of the many privileges of being your sister,” she said, right before she hugged the hell out of me, smearing my camera lens in the process.

I almost lost it crying then.

Pulling up next to his Explorer, I try to find something to focus on to calm me before I walk up the front stairs. I’ve been living on a diet of sadness and pain during the last few weeks, and I’m beginning to feel it. I guess it’s better to know the answers than not to. Sliding myself out of my car, I grab my camera bag—more out of habit than anything—and an old UConn sweatshirt from the back seat. I’m halfway up the slate stairs built into the grass when the door flies open.

And there they are, waiting for me. If I was foolish enough to think I deserved it, I could easily imagine coming home from a day at the office and finding them there. Squaring my shoulders, I trudge forward.

Joe swings the door open when I’m just a few feet away. “Hey,” I greet them both.

Then he does something he’s never done before. Leaning down, he brushes his lips against my cheek. “Hey. How was work?”

Stupefied, I stare up at him when suddenly I feel a wet kiss on the other side of my cheek. “Hi, my Holly.”

My Holly. Not Kalie’s Holly. Mine. I can’t stop the tears from building behind my eyes, but I can damn sure try to prevent them from falling.