Page 45 of Free to Live
Ava then walks up and kisses both of their cheeks and gives Kalie a hug. Kalie jumps up and down, wearing her own set of medals, holding up two fingers. Keene slides a hand protectively over Ali’s stomach. “Well, I’ll be damned,” I say softly.
“What is it, Joe?” my mother asks.
“If I’m reading this right, I think Ali might be pregnant.” I barely get the words out of my mouth when Ava comes up to refill our coffee as Keene, Ali, and Kalie find a seat toward the back. Corinna makes her way back to the kitchen with a bounce in her step.
“You are two hundred percent correct, Joe.” She beams. “Twins. They run in Keene’s family. Corinna only told Matt and me today when she knew we wouldn’t be able to blab to Keene.”
“That’s terrific news,” my mother declares with a worried glance in my direction. But surprisingly, hearing about their joy is just great news. It doesn’t burn quite the same way it would have a few weeks ago. Ali, Keene, hell, their whole damn family just went beyond the call of duty helping put on events to benefit my fallen brethren. To be honest, their news feels more like a celebration than a reminder of what I wouldn’t have.
A future with someone I love.
“Tell them congratulations, Ava.” I look around the table. “From all of us.”
She scurries away when my father’s hand comes down on my shoulder. “You’re a good man, son.”
I shrug, uncomfortable.
“You are, darling. I don’t know what it is, but something’s changed recently.”
Grace shoves a forkful of pancakes in her mouth before she opens her mouth. Her declaration of “Happy” comes out warbled and with some food dribbling down her face, but no one misses it.
Especially me.
“Was I so unhappy before, baby?” I ask her quietly.
She tilts her head and shrugs. “Happier,” she concludes.
“Out of the mouths of babes,” my mother murmurs.
“Ma,” I start, but my mother waves me off.
“Sweetheart, it’s all right if you allow yourself to be happy again.”
And therein lies the problem. How can I allow myself to be when the person I asked to be happy with me for eternity is lying beneath the ground?
The bell above The Coffee Shop door rings out. I catch sight of her out of the corner of my eye as she comes in with more of her family. It’s hard to miss her gorgeous hair cascading freely down her back.
She doesn’t glance our way, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to tracking her movement toward the back of the cafe where the rest of her family was sitting. Her musical laughter ringing out causes me to clench my hand into a fist under the table. And when she’s boosted on the counter and steadied by a muscular man I don’t recognize to get a picture of everyone at the pancake breakfast, I want to howl in disappointment.
What does that say about the eternal love I’m supposed to have for my dead fiancée?
21
Holly
“This place is a mob scene!” I yell to Em from behind the speakers where I’m presently capturing the insanity at Tide Pool. Jake and the students from his district are up on stage rocking out, their parents all in the audience beaming with pride and ready to sweep them away the minute their set is done. There are first responders from counties all over Connecticut and New York state mingling with the Collyer teams, lifting glasses to the fallen. The Tide Pool manager took the stage earlier to announce that all monies collected tonight are going to the Victims Assistance Fund, not just a percentage. Cassidy jumped up and down in glee.
“It’s going to get crazier as the night goes on, sister!” Em shouts back. Jake is wailing away on his sax, and every single female in three counties is trying to get his attention. One goes to unhook her bra under her shirt—presumably to toss it on the small stage—but Em, who’s sitting on top of the speaker, catches her eye and flashes her diamond in her direction with a glare.
The woman backs down like Em kicked her hopes and dreams into next eternity.Click.
Damn, I’m so glad I have my camera tonight, I think wickedly. Tapping Em on the shoulder, I tell her, “I’m going to take a lap of the room.”
She nods, but she’s distracted because Jake has turned his attention to her. His dancing brown eyes don’t miss much. My guess is Em’s going to enjoy her night immensely for openly staking her claim on her man.
Pushing off, I walk behind the stage and into the fray. Although my neck will be killing me tomorrow, I’m glad I brought both cameras with me so I don’t need to worry about switching lenses from my prime to zoom, wasting precious minutes I can be snagging memories out of thin air. I zoom in on a team of patrolmen from CPD lifting pints of Guinness to clink them together with CFD Officer Justin Brady. I capture Brett Stewart laughing so hard with Chief Drever; she’s wiping her eyes. I click just in time to see Tide Pool’s bartender, Jessica, hand Ali a ginger ale right before Jessica hoists herself onto the bar to smack Keene on the lips. Ali’s head is thrown back in laughter. My own curve in a very private smile at the fact my brother-in-law is still wearing the medals Ali slid on his neck earlier to announce her pregnancy after she let him cross the finish line in front of her.
Turning the camera a few degrees, the reflection of a table full of first responders lifting their drinks in a toast is mine just as it belongs to the window I actually take a picture of. I get a full-length one of Chief Bianco as he stands by the door with Cassidy greeting everyone as they come in. There’s a weighty burden that lies across his shoulders that has little to do with his command. I nibble my lip as I depress the shutter. More than just about anyone in the room, he understands he could have lost so much more with the accident three years ago.
