Page 43 of Free to Live
“I’ll give you something,” I yell.
Holly almost falls over laughing as we thunder past. Realizing what I said, I curse. Is there a time when I could not act like an ass in front of this woman?
“Wow. You’re not being a douche in front of strangers? Did I zap you enough times with water to break you of that bad habit? Did my house training finally work?” Brett’s in shock. Ripping my helmet off my head, I run my hand through my hair.
“Not helping,” I grit out. Slamming my hat back on, I realize everything, even Brett’s labored breathing, has become quiet next to me.
“Seriously, Joe. We’ve never talked about this because there’s always someone else around. Do you want to…? Are you interested in dating again?” Brett asks cautiously.
No. At least not just any woman. In the last three years, I haven’t given much thought to hurting another person so long as the protective shell that cocoons me and Grace remains intact, yet every time I see Holly, I feel compelled to smooth out any rough edges I create.
I am, however, becoming fascinated with Holly Freeman. Even as the thought enters my mind, I realize it’s true. “Not exactly,” I hedge. We pant our way through the next quarter mile in silence. I’m hoping that’s the end of it.
I should have known better.
“Listen, you know I loved Mary too, but she would never have wanted you to be without love.”
I think before I respond. “There are things I took for granted with her, Brett. I feel like I’m still paying for that. We have a child I will raise and love for the rest of my life. And how do you explain that to someone new? ‘Hi. Nice to meet you. I have a child, and I will never apologize for missing things about the woman I used to love’?” Swinging my head toward his, I demand, “I doubt this means I’m fully capable of loving another woman wholly again. Fully? With everything that’s in me? Is that the kind of man who should be out on the dating scene?”
Letting out a huge breath that has nothing to do with the fact we’re closing in on the 5K mark, he replies, “I don’t know, buddy. I just want you to be happy.”
I just wish I wasn’t so damn lonely.The thought pops into my head even as Brett yells, “Breakfast is on the loser!” right before he sprints toward the finish line.
Since there’s no chance I’d ask him pay for Grace, my parents, and myself, I let him take the glory knowing there’s no way he’ll lord it over me at the station considering our next closest team member is a good quarter mile back whereas I cross the line ten steps behind him.
I’ll always have his back. Just like he’s always had mine.
19
Holly
Keene and Ali just passed by Em’s water station. For two people who are supposed to be in a “race,” they’re goofing off as if they don’t have a care in the world. Part of me wants to scream, “Hurry up!” but I know Ali will murder me if I give anything away.
As soon as they clear the water station, Em takes off. Her relief came about twenty minutes ago to cover any of the walkers who show up behind Keene and Ali. I want to call out that she’s just rude, but I refrain.
I have to get this shot.
Ali is running slightly behind Keene, who’s wearing his trademark smirk. Instead of leaping in the air like a gazelle like she normally does in front of running photographers, she throws out her left thumb behind Keene’s back, making sure it’s angled at him, and holds up two fingers downward toward her stomach.
I know the only way I keep myself from falling down on my face laughing is that I have about ten minutes to run a mile back to the finish line. Knowing I’m going to have to sprint, I drop my camera in my backpack and swing it over my shoulders. Taking the few seconds to tighten the straps, I take off.
I’ll never love it the way Ali does, but the burn in my legs feels great. I just wish I didn’t have the extra forty pounds of camera equipment on my back. Fortunately I’m in good shape, so when my phone rings, I’m only moderately out of breath when I growl, “What?”
“Caleb says you have about five minutes. Are you going to make it?” Cassidy asks worriedly.
“How the hell does he know?” I pant as I put a little bit of churn in my legs.
“He has Charlie tracking Keene’s phone, of course.”
I want to laugh, I really do, but I just don’t have the breath. My brothers-in-law investigations firm does very well for a reason. It surprises me not in the slightest that they have one of their employees—who happens to be an extremely close member of our family—doing something like this for fun.
I spy the finish line ahead. “ETA one minute.”
Cassidy lets out a long whistle. “I’m impressed.”
“Don’t be. When I die later before we get to The Coffee Shop, just remember to take my cameras there…okay. I’m here. Let me get a camera out.”
“We see you. We’re all hiding around in the crowd. Hey, just a FYI. We have Kalie here. You should get a picture of the shirt she’s wearing.”
