Page 87 of Free to Believe
By people who abandoned her.
Like me.
52
Jake
Jenna’s face when I walk back into her hospital room without Emily is probably what mine looked like when I realized she was gone.
It’s the kind of pain that tears won’t even solve, so you don’t even try to cry.
Handing her the envelope, I whisper, “She left you this.”
And for the first of many times in the upcoming weeks, my daughter turns her face away from me without saying a word, making me understand the true depth of my mistake.
And the painful screaming that can be heard in silence.
53
Jake
“Mr. Madison?”
“Yes?” I sigh into the phone.
“This is Stacie at Offshore Animal Care.” My body jolts. I haven’t thought of the animal hospital since I savaged Emily over trying to get Mugsy’s remains. My brutal behavior keeps coming back to haunt me. “I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but we’ve been trying to get a hold of Ms. Freeman…”
I cut her off. “She was involved in a wreck.” What else am I supposed to say? I have no idea where she is because she ran away from my brutal behavior?
“Oh! I’m terribly sorry to hear that. It might explain why her number’s out of service,” she muses.
Emily’s number is out of service. Another thread between us has been cut. My hands are shaking so hard, I can barely hold on to my phone. “Is there something you needed, Stacie?” I’m surprised by how calm my voice is.
“Well, when Ms. Freeman didn’t come back to pick up Mugsy’s remains, we became concerned. Will you be coming to get them for her?”
And just like that, any energy I’ve been holding on to since the accident leeches out of me.
Emily left without her beloved dog. She never made arrangements to pick up his remains. She must have been so desperate to get away…
I think I’m going to be sick.
“I’ll make arrangements and have someone contact you,” I barely manage to get out weakly.
“Thank you. Our hours are eight to five, Monday through Friday, until noon on Saturday. And we’re closed Sundays. Have a great day!” I don’t respond. I just hang up the phone.
If I hadn’t wronged her so badly, I’d drive over to the animal hospital to pick up Mugsy’s remains in order to see if Emily would talk to me, but I can’t. I have to do what’s right. And what’s right is letting her move on without me, finding a better man. Someone who may never love her as much as I do, but who will never hurt her the way I did.
Still on the floor, I press the heels of my hands against my eyes.
I can’t breathe.
I miss her.
I have no right.
“Jake, what are you doing on the floor?” Dani snaps at me. She’s been staying with us—Jenna, Michelle, Jenna, and our families—since she arrived from her photo shoot after Jenna’s accident.
“I need to get a message to Em,” I whisper hoarsely.
