Page 81 of Free to Believe
I have to make you keep up your end of the bargain.
“Then take me, you bastard,” I hiss. “Then finally take me.”
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
I wait for her chest to resume its normal position. Putting my hand on Jenna’s forehead, I put two fingers on her jaw and tip it back. Using the air from my heart, my body, what’s left of my soul, I give her the first breath. I watch her chest rise.
It doesn’t begin breathing on its own.
I drop my lips to hers and administer the second breath.
Nothing.
“Fuck you!” I scream out loud as I begin the chest compressions again. “Come on, Jenna. You didn’t come to this damn island to die. You just found happiness. You can’t give up!” Less than a minute later, the second round of compressions are done.
I’m in the middle of the first breath when I hear the sirens.
The second is finished when the EMTs appear at my side.
“We’ve got it from here, ma’am.” The two EMTs immediately begin picking up where I left off. Soon, they’re sliding her lifeless body onto a board and loading her into an ambulance. I start to go after her, but a policeman stops me. “Ma’am, we need you to tell us what happened. First, can we have your name?”
I look at her blankly. My name? What does it matter who I am? Jenna’s the only one who matters.
Oh, God. Jake! How the hell am I supposed to tell Jake?
I feel the blood leave my head, and I start to collapse. “Ma’am? Ma’am? Are you hurt? Are you okay?”
Following the policeman’s pant leg up to his concerned eyes, I whisper, “I’ll never be okay if Jenna dies.”
And I burst into hysterical tears.
49
Jake
It’s been thirty-six hours since Jenna was brought into the emergency room of the Nantucket Cottage Hospital in a coma. I’ve been alone by her bedside the entire time, praying for a fucking miracle. I’ve barely managed to make two phone calls.
The first was to Dani, who I knew would take care of contacting our families. She swore to me she was on her way and to hold on. “That girl’s a Madison, Jake. We were all born to drive you insane.” But even from thousands of miles away, I could still hear the break in her voice. I went apeshit on a few doctors after that call.
The second wasn’t any easier but way more surprising. Michelle’s on her way to Nantucket. “There is no way I’m not coming, Jake. I haven’t been the best mother, but damn you, I am still her mother!” She hung up on me at that point.
I still haven’t been able to even look at Emily. Every time I walk out of Jenna’s cubicle to talk to a doctor or nurse, I see her sitting through the double doors in the public waiting area curled into a ball. Her face is bruised, and her clothes are bloody.
I don’t give a fuck.
My baby girl is dying because Emily couldn’t wait a damn day to sign papers for her dog’s ashes.
Mugsy was already gone and now Jenna…
Ruthlessly, I turn away and walk back into my daughter’s room.
