Page 113 of Free to Believe
“Because your dream is coming true.” His voice is tender. “And right now…”
“Right now, I don’t know if I would punch you or kiss you for saying something like that to me!” I yell.
“What?” he asks confused.
“I am so mad at you. We’re supposed to be building anus. That means fixing you and fixing me. You don’t get to give up on fixing you until I’m better!”
“I just want you to realize I will always be your sun to evaporate your tears, Em. I promised you that.”
“What makes you think I don’t, you jackass?”
There’s a deathly silence between us. “Excuse me? Do you mind repeating that?”
“What makes you think I don’t? If you loved me any more, someone would wonder why there are two suns orbiting in the sky instead of one.”
Now he’s the one getting angry. “You’re saying this to me when you’re thousands of miles away?” His voice is incredulous.
“Damn straight I am. I’m going first tonight. You know what made me believe today, Jake? You. You made me believe. Because I love you and I’m not afraid to tell you that,” I hiss out.
“I’m about to hang up on you, Emily. Because I suddenly want to go beat the shit out of a drum set.”
“Good.”
“I’m glad you think so, because the most beautiful thing of my day is those words. I love you too, Em.”
And even through our stupid anger, his voice saying that to me cleanses every part of my soul. “I know, Jake.” A sob hitches in my throat. “Got any plans for winter break?”
“Even if I did—which I don’t—what have you got in mind?”
“Come to me. Come to the farm. Come to my home.”
The convulsion of his face is so beautifully twisted and horrifically ugly, it causes another sob to come out. “We’ll work out the plans tomorrow, love. Go rest. You have an early flight.”
“I don’t want to hang up,” I whisper. His smile is so tender, I can feel it everywhere.
“I know. But the woman I’m in love with just told me to get my ass to the basement to make her some music.”
I hiccup as I brush the tears from my face. “Yeah. You better get on that.”
“I plan to. Night, baby.”
“Night, Jake.” When his face disappears, I jump from my seat. Grabbing my new journal, I turn to the current page and start sketching.
And in my mind, I can hear,All you have to do is believe, Emily.
And quietly I tell her back,I finally know that, Aunt Dee.
Before I go to sleep, I make two calls. The first is to the airline to add an additional flight from JFK to Nantucket. The second is to my family to tell them I’ll be home a few days later than I expected.
It’s Caleb who asks me if I want to fly commercial instead of taking the Hudson jet.
I’m a wreck sobbing when I hang up.
70
Emily
It’s been four of the busiest months since Fashion Week, and sales for Amaryllis Designs are off the charts. In between flying all over the globe for trunk shows, I’ve had to hire two full-time bridal consultants to work the showroom. Ali is purring like a cat with saucers full of cream after she checked the bottom line for sales. Even with the new staff, I have more than enough money to plan my next show in April, October, and the April after that. I could even consider expanding into boutiques in other stores if I wanted to begin opening up our presence to other cities, though she cautioned me that would be a huge effort and even more time away from home.
