Page 87 of Free to Breathe
The table around us goes eerily quiet.
“Co-by.” I can’t say his name. Fuck. I can’t say the name of the man I love! Hot burning tears slide over my lashes and splash onto my cheeks.
“Calm down, baby. You need to relax. This is probably just temporary.” His voice is firm.
Jason stands up. “I’ll call her doctor.” He walks out into the foyer.
Guttural sobs are spilling from my lips. Here it is, the end.
It’s only just begun.
And I never told Colby while I was whole that I loved him.
Jason comes back into the room. “Colby, I need you to move behind Corinna so I can do a few tests.”
Colby swiftly moves behind me. “I’ve got you. I’m not letting you go. Believe that, Cori.”
Tears continue to fall down my cheeks as dread invades every pore of my being.How can I expect him to live with me if this might be the best of what comes out of this surgery?I don’t respond, but I’m weak. I press back into his chest.
“Corinna, I’m going to ask you to close your eyes super tight and then open them.” Jason’s in full doctor mode. “Good. Now, I have a flashlight; I’m going to shine it in each of your eyes.” After a few seconds, he relaxes. “Good. Normal pupil response. Let’s check your strength. Push my arms outward as hard as you can. Now inward.” After I accomplish both, he smiles. “Now squeeze my hands. As hard as you can. Get out all your frustration and anger about this bullshit, Cori.” That I can do. I use every ounce of energy inside of me and tighten my fingers around Jason’s.
“You did perfectly. Let me call Bryan, and then I’ll tell you what this means, okay?” Jason cups my cheek before moving back into the foyer.
Colby reclaims his seat, pulling me onto his lap, before asking “Did you almost break Jason’s fingers? I saw him wince for a second there.”
Without thinking, I respond. “I was trying.” I sit up, stunned. “Did that sound normal to just me?”
Colby captures my face in his hands before pressing a hard kiss to my lips. “No, baby. You sound perfect.” His relief is evident.
“And this isn’t uncommon, Corinna,” Jason says as he steps back into the room. “She’s fine,” he tells the greater room at large. “What you’re experiencing are the symptoms you would have if you’d never known about your tumor before now. Bryan just wanted to make certain this wasn’t your tumor pressing on your ICAs. It’s not if my hands are any indication,” he says ruefully.
Reaching over, I grab one and give it a quick kiss. “Sorry, Jace.”
Cupping my cheek, he tips my head up. “I’m not. I’d rather know we’re not rushing you into surgery tonight. You’re under doctor’s orders to take it easy the next few days. No strenuous work or lifting.”
“What about sex?” I ask boldly. Colby turns bright red. The family save Keene, who begins thwacking his head against the table, all start laughing. Mostly in relief, I think with shot of pain to my heart.
“As long as you don’t go crazy, you’re still clear for that up to the night before you check into the hospital.”
“Okay.” My voice comes out shakily, but whose wouldn’t? Tonight scared the living hell out of me. It also proved to me I’ve been blessed with the gift of time and I need to use it wisely.
I need Colby to know how I feel before I go into surgery. Love was bestowed upon me as a gift. The first time I didn’t recognize it. This time, I’ll cherish it until I draw my last breath.
Time shouldn’t be wasted.
Neither should love.
45
Colby
Later that night
Corinna had an incident.
The text back is within seconds.Is she okay? Is there anything I can do?
I contemplate what to send back as I look at my heart lying next to me on the bed.The same thing we are. Pray.
