Page 51 of Free to Breathe
“No. Just no. You don’t get to stand there and accuse me of being some huge slut and then expect to comfort me. You get to hear the goddamned truth.” Storming away from me, she walks a few steps away, but those steps are worse than a moat.
Shit.
“Four, Colby. Four men. Or is even that too much? The rest? God, after your precious Addison decided to make my life a living hell, I decided to try dating any guy who’d ask me out. Trying to fill the gap you left inside of me.” Wrapping her arms around herself, she faces me. Mascara-streaked tears pour down her face. “I go out on a ton of dates. I’ve kissed a lot of guys, but you know what? Not one of them started to fill the space inside of me until I read those letters.”
A warm feeling starts to grow inside me, right before she rips it from me.
“And then, Addison walks into dinner tonight and I’m forgotten again. How long did it take you to forget me? Seconds? How long did it take for you to remember me?” She shakes her head. “So I went to one of the few people who makes me feel beautiful just for being me. Just me. Do you know how glorious that is? Not being loved for being a Freeman, or the baker? Just because I’m me. And if you want the full truth, I was with Marco for years. He’s a good man. I even contemplated introducing him to the family right before he broke things off with me. And after him, there’s been no one else.” Shuddering, she pushes past me to unlock her door. Leaning her head against the door, she says woodenly, “Now, go. There’s nothing left of me for you to have.”
My heart is somewhere under my shoes, being trampled on by my own misconceptions. There’s no way Corinna’s lying to me. Camouflage. It was all to hide the pain that’s been buried so deep inside of her. And I was the fucking fool to believe Jack’s lies and not her. “Corinna…” I try to form words.
She turns, and her eyes are a mixture of gold and brown. Typically, they descend to this color when she’s ready to throw something. “No, there’s one thing I want before you go.”
“What’s that?” I can barely squeeze the words out of a throat that’s closed as tight as a clogged pipe.
“This.” She reaches up and yanks my head down before slanting her lips over mine.
Incandescent. I feel like I’m being bathed in waves of pure gold energy as her sweet lips move over mine. I need more. Separating her lips with my tongue, I tilt my head, pull her head back, and take our kiss deeper.
This kiss has been over a decade in the making. I’m drowning in everything that is Corinna Freeman. Her scent, her taste, her light—it’s everything I imagined it would be the first time our lips met. I tighten my arms to pull her closer, willing to go without air instead of losing her mouth.
Long minutes pass before Corinna shoves me away. “You can go now.”
“I don’t understand.” Because I really don’t. My body is vibrating with the absolute rightness of having her in my arms.
Corinna slips over the threshold with a mocking laugh. “For just a moment, I wanted to know what it would have been like if I was up to your standards. Now I do. I can die happy.” Then she slams the door in my face.
I stare at the door knowing there’s no way she’ll open it up willingly.
I pound my fist against it in frustration with myself, before turning to head back to my Jeep. I’m so furious, I don’t know what to do.
I just know that a life without Corinna in it isn’t any kind of life at all.
I should know. I’ve been living it for the past ten years.
26
Corinna
I’m in the kitchen of Amaryllis Events the next afternoon taking out my frustrations on a batch of cinnamon rolls we need for a bridal shower brunch, when the phone rings. Hands full of sticky dough, I elbow the button for the speaker. “Amaryllis Events. This is Corinna.”
“Can you pull up your calendar?” Bryan’s voice comes through the phone brusquely.
“Not at the moment. My hands are covered with—”
“I need to give you a list of dates, Corinna. Get whatever crap off your hands, find a calendar, and stop wasting time,” Bryan barks.
Suddenly, I snap. I’ve had it. When did I suddenly become everyone’s bitch and call girl? Oh, that’s right. When my parents traded me in for some more heroin by selling me to a sex trafficking ring. This last week has pushed me to my limit. The tiara of peace I try to wear every day is blooming into a crown of despair.
Between finding out the tumor’s grown and the hot and cold from Colby, I’m all over the place. My temper is constantly warring with my anxiety. Now Bryan wants to change the dynamic of our doctor–patient relationship just like that? Before I was a pressure cooker, where the steam was getting vented. Bryan’s dismissiveness just broke off the safety valve, and I’m ready to blow.
I just can’t deal with any more.
I raise my voice to be heard over his. “You know what, Bryan? Have your secretary call me back in an hour when I can talk. I’m working. I can’t stop what I’m doing right now. If calling me back doesn’t work, call this number.” I rattle off Cassidy’s direct line. “You have my permission to tell my sister who you are and what you want. Right now, I have to focus on my job. I can’t do that and deal with you, this, or anything else.” Even as he’s starting to argue with me on the other end of the line, I hit the Off button with my elbow.
I snarl to my voice-activated speakers. “Volume seven.” A hard drum beat matching my anger pulsates through the speakers. Nodding in approval, I head back over to the dough and land my next punch for all I’m worth.
I am so over people this week. Letting out a sound of disgust, I hope someone, anyone, dares to enter my kitchen. I could use some target practice.
