Page 44 of Free to Breathe
All of my siblings have dropped into the kitchen at different times. I received hilarious pictures of Caleb and Keene with mouths stuffed full of my chocolate caramel brownies that I’m sure they had to blackmail away from Colby. Jason, Phil’s husband, dragged me away from a cake I was decorating to grill me about all things medical. Since he’s an ER doctor at a major hospital in New York City, I wasn’t surprised. I also figure he’d translate things for Phil.
Even Ryan and Jared, Caleb’s brother and brother-in-law, sent me a huge bouquet of irises. I read the card aloud when they were delivered to the office during lunch. It said, “We know you already have these, but a little more never hurts. All our love, Ry and Jared.” Phil explained the meaning behind irises, which mean faith, hope, wisdom, and valor.
Damn, I have a fantastic family. But I still haven’t heard from Colby.
I’ve long shed my chef’s coat and am standing there, staring off into space, when I hear a knock on the kitchen door. “Come in,” I call out absentmindedly.
“I figured I’d knock this time in the event your aim is as good as Keene claimed it was,” a dark voice says from the door. I don’t bother turning around. I’d know that voice it if I was blindfolded in the darkest night since he used to whisper in my ear to get me to sleep. Colby’s here.
“Surprisingly, I’m not having the urge to throw things these days,” I say calmly, despite the fact that my heart’s beating crazily out of my chest. I turn around, and he’s standing there in a long-sleeved dark maroon shirt tucked into his dress slacks. He looks positively gorgeous, but was there ever a time he didn’t?
Meanwhile, I’m still in my typical tattered tank top and jeans. Both of my tattoos are on full display since my hair is in a loose knot on my head. The side of my mouth quirks in a smile as I realize we couldn’t look more different. We couldn’tbemore different.
I look like you could toss me back into the trailer park where I grew up and I’d fit in just fine. Colby looks like he could be a model. Shaking my head, I approach the metal table separating us. So many regrets well up inside of me. So many wasted hours, days, years. I shove the sorrow away. “How are you?” I ask benignly.
A devastating smile crosses his face. “That’s not how you normally greet me.”
A laugh escapes. I can’t help it. “Not lately, no. I should apologize for that.”
Colby saunters around the worktable. Standing directly in front of me, he says, “No, that’s not how you used to greet me, Corinna. I never received such a lukewarm greeting from you even when all you used to do was blush in business class. After we became friends, it was always a hug.” Reaching up to push back a piece of hair that escaped my top knot, he reminds me, “Always.”
My mouth gapes open. “You can’t be serious.”
His brows lower. “Were you not serious about what you wrote?”
I sputter. “Of course I was.” I wrote that damned letter six or seven times before I got it right. “But, I mean, look at you. You're all dressed up from work. You can’t mean you want me to touch you right now.”
His face clears. “Clothes wash, Corinna.”
I shake my head. “Colby…” I start to move away. I get maybe a step before I’m hauled against his chest.
“Do you really think I give a rat’s ass about anything when I finally get to hold you in my arms again? Even if it’s just for something as simple as a hug? You read all of my letters. Do you comprehend how much I’ve missed you in my life?” Colby demands.
Placing my hands on his chest, I feel my heart pick up speed. “Maybe I underestimated it a little bit,” I mutter more to myself than him.
“Just a bit,” he replies sarcastically. “Now, how about my hug?”
I study him for a moment, my heart beating out of my chest. I’ve got two choices: I can simply lean in and wrap my arms around his lean waist and give him a perfectly acceptable hug, or I can go for it. Try to bend the arc of time a little for both of us to get us where maybe we both want to be?
For just a moment, I feel like the Corinna I used to be. I’m the Corinna who didn’t give a damn what people thought about the chubby girl with the gorgeous boy. I forget the old fears and the new darkness threatening me. I slide my hands over his shoulders and push. Hard.
The next thing I know, my legs are wrapped around Colby’s waist, and he’s boosting me around my ass as I’m laughing down at him. My arms are thrown around his shoulders, and I’m squeezing with all my might. Dark nights and lonely days disappear. Peals of laughter pour out of me as I toss my head back. My hair falls out of its loose knot and cascades down my back.
“That’s much better,” he murmurs, shifting me more upright. I grin down at him before dismounting. “And now, to answer you, I’m doing a fuck of a lot better than I was before I walked in that door.”
“It sounds like you’re having a bad day.”
“Do you understand what a pain in the ass your brother-in-law is?” he gripes. “He’s an anal-retentive prick with a perpetual smirk on his face.”
I look around in all directions before I lean forward to whisper conspiratorially, “So was his sister when she was pregnant, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
Colby grins.
“Is there a particular reason you came by?” What I really want to know is are we really going to stand in my kitchen and talk about the past over stainless-steel tables?
“Actually, I came to see if you wanted to grab something to eat,” he throws out casually.
“Colby! I’m a mess.” I shake my head.
