Page 43 of Free to Breathe
What do you want from me now?
I think back to the night where we fell apart, and I find myself questioning everything I believed in for so many years. You broke me that night, Colby. Yes, I admit it. You did.
My heart clenches. Hard.
I haven’t forgotten what happened, but when I was standing in my home last night, and understood someone else might have broken you, I realized not all of the links between us are gone.
And that is somehow both terrifying and comforting right now. Especially knowing as I write this, you could crush me again with a few ill-placed words. I beg you, if that’s where your mind leads you, don’t. Please don’t. Right now, what’s left of me needs to be focused on the battle I’m about to endure.
I close my eyes in pain. Partially because she feels she has to ask me to be gentle with her, and also knowing whatever her news was from her test, it wasn’t good.
Em told me I might find questions to ask you in the letters, but there’s really only one I thing I can think of for now. Would you like to be friends again?
I know I’m a risk. I’ve been a snot, a spoiled brat, and blamed you for things that God only knows there’s no explanation for.
You weren’t the best of friends to me, but then again, I haven’t been a great one either. I’d think about it for a while before you answer.
Hopefully, the brownies soften you up a bit.
And Colby? Your letter might have been right at the time, but it’s not right anymore. You have all of us for as long as you want us. You’re not alone in the dark. Trust me. I know what that feels like.
Corinna
I clutch the letter in disbelief. Leaning my head back, my breathing sounds harsh in the empty room. There’s still distance between us because we’d grown apart in so many fundamental ways, but this was so much more than I ever expected. Between whatever is going on with the tumor in her head, her crazy schedule, and me starting a new job, it’d be insanity to try to start something right now, right? And let’s not forget, I don’t want to be one of the crowd anymore.
I want Corinna when she’s ready to be mine only.
Putting the letter on my desk, I open up the brownies and remove a few. After hiding them, I disengage the security lock. No sooner than the final tumbler opens, my door flies open. Charlie and Caleb are standing there, looking like a pack of hungry wolves. They barely glance at me before they fall upon the brownies.
“Don’t you get fed at home?” I say before reaching for one in the box and taking my first bite. Jesus, they’re better than I remembered.
“Not this kind,” Charlie moans around a mouthful of my brownie.
“Be glad Keene had to drive Cori back to her house. You might get more than one,” Caleb advises. “And don’t try to hide them in your desk. He’ll just pick the lock and claim it was work related.”
Damn. Now I have to find a different hiding spot.
“There’s no need for that,” Keene’s smooth voice interrupts. What the hell? Corinna only just left. “Ali came to pick her up since I have a meeting with Colby.”
“Since when?” I demand.
“Since my sister-in-law baked those brownies. Do I look like an idiot? Now, fork over the chocolate and I won’t kick you in the balls for knowing something was wrong with Corinna and not telling us.” Keene smirks.
Caleb, his lips rimmed with chocolate, agrees. “It’s worth it, Colby. If you and Cori are in a good place, she’ll make you more. She can’t recreate your testicles.”
Damn, if the bastard isn’t right. Unwillingly, I watch as my bosses devour all but the few brownies I hid right before they came into my office. As I slowly munch on the only one I’m willing to let them see, I wonder what to do next.
22
Corinna
Ihang up the phone with Bryan. It’s only been two days since we last talked, but he was concerned since Dr. Braddock hadn’t heard anything from me about scheduling the surgery.
My acidic reply was “Maybe I decided to go with another neurosurgeon.” That had him laughing in my ear for a good five minutes. Brilliant, arrogant ass. Unfortunately, he’s right.
It’s what condition I’ll be in once he’s done that still has my anxiety spiking and delaying making the calls to learn more about the procedure.
Looking for a distraction, I spy the box of letters from Colby on the counter. I know I told him to think about whether or not he wanted me in his life, but it seems like I’ve heard from everyone but him.
