Page 39 of Free to Breathe
“No.” Holly’s voice breaks into the void first. “No. This isn’t happening.”
“I agree,” Em jumps in next. “When Mugsy had that tumor, they used radiation first to shrink it…” Em’s elderly rescue dog has had about every medical issue known to the veterinary world and is still with us.
I cut her off. “They can’t, Em. They’d kill me almost instantly.” They collectively gasp. “My tumor appears to be sitting on top of two ICAs.” At the instantly confused look on their faces, I translate. “Internal cranial arteries. If radiation touches one and it bursts…” I don’t need to paint the image any further.
Ali slams her glass down. “I am so fucking pissed at you.”
This was the reaction I was ready for. “I know.”
“When I was so completely broken because I thought Keene had betrayed me, no one in this family had my back except for you. You were there making sure I knew I was loved, bringing me chocolate and being the shoulder I needed to lean on. No offense, Cass, but between you and your brother, I thought my heart was going to die.”
When Cassidy was pregnant, she’d turned into a hormonal bitch, doing serious damage to her relationship with Ali. She waves her glass to show no offense has been taken. “Continue.” She squeezes my hand hard in remembrance.
Ali continues her rampage. “Who was it who had my back? Who was it who kept me from losing myself in the process of all that damn pain? Who was it who sat on my floor and held me together when I thought I lost this family’s love and respect?”
“Me.” Cassidy squeezes my hand tighter.
“Then how on earth could you think we wouldn’t do the same for you? That I wouldn’t? Didn’t I make a promise to you, to always hold your hand in the dark of any night?” Ali’s voice cracks right before sobs rack her body. Em pulls her onto her shoulder to comfort her.
“I was trying to protect you,” I whisper, my voice choked with the release of the burden I’ve been carrying for so long.
“I think what Ali’s trying to say, Cori, is that we’re supposed to protect each other. Didn’t we learn that the hard way?” Cassidy’s voice next to me holds both wisdom and sadness. I turn and meet her ocean-blue eyes that look like waves because of the tears flooding them. “Didn’t we learn we’re stronger together than we are apart?”
I swallow. Hard.
I feel Holly’s arms wrap around me from behind. “We’ve got you now. We’re never letting you go.”
Ali kneels in front of me and lays her head in my lap. Immediately, my free hand goes to stroke her hair. “Never letting go.”
Em stands and comes around behind the couch. “I hope this doctor knows what he’s in for. When we decide to go to battle, anything can happen.” She isn’t wrong.
“I don’t know what y’all are talking about. I already started the fight tonight, and my hand hurts like a bitch because of it.” Phil stands from his position on the couch, taking all of us in. “I think I broke a finger punching that asshole’s jaw.”
“We’ll be sure to tell Jason so you get a prize.” Cassidy rolls her eyes.
He kneels next to Ali and looks at all of us. “You keep forgetting, little girl—I won the prize years ago when I found all of you.” His eyes meet mine. “And I’m not ready to let any of you go.”
Within seconds, hearts that beat because of strength and pride are tripped out of synchronization by tears of fear and anger that this could happen to one of us. It doesn’t change what happens tomorrow, but for this moment it helps alleviate the burden I’ve been carrying alone for so long.
20
Corinna
“So the letters in the box, Cori?” Em asks me as we finish washing the dishes from dinner.
“I honestly don’t know yet, Em,” I answer truthfully. “Whatever they are, Colby sent them years ago. Jack was hiding them because…well, you heard his reasons.”
“Yeah, let’s not mention those again tonight to Phil.” She taps a perfectly manicured nail on the box. “Aren’t you dying of curiosity?”
I don’t know what to feel about the box. I take a deep breath. For years, I’ve branded Colby the betrayer of our friendship, only to find out tonight that he was also betrayed. While I had made those decisions as a young, damaged woman, Colby never gave up on me.
Don’t I owe it to him, to myself, to read what’s in those letters?
I dry my hands and prop my chin on my fist as I lean forward, staring at the box. “Apparently, he wrote me for years.” It still is like a direct punch in the heart to find my reality shifted so drastically on all levels in such a short period of time. A tumor, Colby, Jack. The acidity of all the wine we consumed tonight begins churning in my stomach.
Em lets out a low whistle. “That takes balls.”
“What Jack did? I know,” I agree wholeheartedly.
