Page 118 of Free to Breathe
I must have looked like a fish. “You…?”
He shook his head. “Not me, baby. You have a whole family who knows what this means to you.” I emitted a choking sound. “You know the rest of your cake orders had to be directed to other bakers.” I nodded. Colby brushed his fingers against the back of my neck. “Well, Phil, Cass, Em, Ali, and Holly just couldn’t let this go to someone else. They figured if you could coach Brendan through your recipes, maybe between the five of them they could figure cupcakes out on their own. Though they admit, they’re shit with decorating,” he joked.
Overwhelmed, I buried my head in Colby’s shoulder, and I remember him telling Brendan we’d call back. Strong arms held me as I wept over my family’s constant support, love, and understanding. Over Colby’s.
During my time away from the kitchen, when I was banned from lifting more than a container of milk, Colby was there. When I was frustrated over trying to remember a recipe, he told me I’d remember them. When I felt like I’d break, he’d remind me I was invincible. And so was our love.
Throughout this experience I learned I’m here by a blessing. I’ve had a lot of time to think in between watching episodes of the Food Network On Demand. I realized the past is what it is. So, it’s time to forgive the most important person in the fiasco of the last ten years.
Myself.
Why should I hold a grudge against the girl I was, or the woman I am, because I was built differently than everyone else? This body of mine—this fucking beautiful body of mine—just survived one of the most harrowing experiences a human can live through. Each breath I take is a damned miracle. So, I have more curves than the woman walking down the street. Who cares? If the way my man worships every inch of me when he makes love to me is any indicator, he loves it too.
What matters is that I’m healthy. I’m alive. And tomorrow, I’ll wake up from another night to see the bright sun in the sky. I’m strong enough to put in a full day of hard work and then some.
What matters is family. Mine. Colby’s. Zachary came to visit during my recovery, making good on his promise to start getting to know his grandson all over again. Now he’s a frequent visitor at our farm table. And just like I’d predicted, his belligerent attitude forged a truce between Keene and Phil, as they took on the cantankerous senator as a united front in verbal warfare. It adds a whole new dynamic to our family dinners when he’s visiting.
What matters is love. If love could be measured like a recipe, the love I have for my family would need to have the Earth on one side of the scale to balance it out. The love I have for Colby couldn’t be measured, even if the universe could be placed on the other.
This life, this family, this man—they are my everything.
I need nothing more.
* * *
Brendan’s playingat Madison Square Garden tonight. This time, Jason, Caleb, Keene, and especially Colby argued there was no way they were letting us get away with the antics we pulled at last year’s show.
I laughed but agreed to ask Brendan for extra VIP passes. When I think back to that long-ago night, all I can remember is being overwhelmed with so many emotions. Now, I’m in such a different place, it’s like there was this invisible plane I passed through where I found the strength in myself I was missing to make me complete.
Tonight, we stand as one family, while Brendan’s singing his heart out to his fans. His latest ballad about loving someone as fiercely as the sun just made it to number one on the country charts. He strums his guitar a few times at the end before the arena erupts.
“Thank you!” Brendan calls into the mic. Just as he starts to talk, a member of his security team walks directly over to me. I experience a moment of déjà vu. “Ms. Freeman, can you come with me please?”
Here we go again.
Turning in Colby’s arms, I give him a lingering kiss before yelling in his ear, “I had no idea!”
He grins. “I know. Go on up. I’ll see you soon enough.”
I smile and follow the beefy security guard up the side stairs so I’m hidden in the wings. I run a hand over my short hair and take a few deep breaths. Someone approaches me with earbuds so I can hear Brendan over the noise of the crowd. They quickly help me slip them in, just before I hear Brendan say in my ear, “…my good friend Corinna Freeman. Let’s bring her out here!”
“Be careful of the cords, Ms. Freeman,” the roadie warns me as I’m about to step out on stage. Nodding, I step out with a huge smile on my face. I catch a glimpse of Dani’s beaming face in the other wing. I give her a quick wink as I make my way in dark-wash jeans, a black low-cut shirt, and pumpkin-colored, studded Valentino heels toward her boyfriend.
Just like last time, Brendan holds out his hand, and pulls me close but doesn’t spin me around. “You know, I think we should bring up another one of my friends too. Colby? You up for joining your woman up here?”
Shock almost has me falling as my gorgeous boyfriend strides out from the same place I was standing just a few moments before. What on earth is going on?
“Surprise, baby,” Colby says into his own microphone as he reaches me. I feel Brendan step back. Fumbling, I lean over into Brendan’s mic.
“I call shenanigans.” The crowd roars. I’m frozen by Colby’s words though.
“I call it love,” Colby counters.
My head whips back toward my boyfriend to find him holding a small velvet box in the palm of his hand. Suddenly, the world disappears. Brendan. My family, who are likely jumping up and down in a frenzy. And the almost 21,000 people in Madison Square Garden.
The world has narrowed to me and the man who has moved to stand next to me. I stumble before I catch myself. The tender look on Colby’s face stabilizes me like nothing else. Pressing one hand against my stomach, the other lifts to my mouth. I shake my head back and forth.
Is this really happening?
