Page 108 of Free to Breathe
In my head, I see her as she was the other night, in a dress that almost perfectly matches the blanket I’m wrapped in. Glorious color dancing between the black-and-white memories of our history. Finding beauty in facing our past pain before digging in to fight for our future.
I don’t realize I’m crying until I taste the salt of my tears against my lips. Opening my eyes, I reach for her, for her words.
I need her. I’ll never be complete without her.
Now that you’ve let some of the pressure go, you can be there for the others. Just know my arms are holding you tight. Every time you think I’m slipping away, wrap the blanket a little tighter around you.
Because I’m not letting you go.
Never letting you go.
Not ever again.
Love,
Corinna
Now, stop reading. Mark your page with the bear. You’ll get another alarm later. XOXO
56
Sloths
“Perfect incision.”
“I agree. She’ll barely be able to see the scar once her hair grows back over it.”
“Skin and muscles are moved back nicely. Clip it. I’m almost ready for the drill.”
* * *
It’s too quiet.
If someone were whispering in the room right now, everyone would hear it.
We’re united in our misery of waiting. Everything is so damn slow. I don’t know how I imagined it would be otherwise. Every time footsteps pass in front of our door, I suck in a deep breath, hoping it will be news.
I’m reliving every moment I’ve spent with Corinna. In my heart, I’m feeling her pain. Where she’s bleeding from her head, I’m bleeding in my heart. I despise myself for not forcing our issues sooner, for every ounce of pain I caused her. For the stupid choices I made for her instead of giving her.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a harsh sigh. Did I do enough to let her know I’m irrevocably in love with her? Does she feel that in the darkness she’s surrounded by?
A gentle hand lands on my shoulder. “She knows, Colby.” Holly sits down next to me. “Stop tormenting yourself.”
“How can you know? Everything I did for years was wrong. I let her go when I should have held her close. What if I was supposed to stand by her side now? She hates the dark.” I swear viciously.
Ali drops into the chair on the other side of me. “I held her hand for a month in the darkest, nastiest conditions you can imagine, Colby. We weren’t living in filth by the time they let us out of the shipping container—wewerefilth. Remember, Holly? We’d barely been hosed off once a week from that old garden hose going full blast.”
Holly shudders. “I still can’t stand cold water to this day.”
Ali nods adamantly. “Right? I had to move. I just couldn’t sit still. A lot of days I still feel that way. Cori needed to be in the light, but Colby? We all survived without it. All of us. In comparison to that darkness, she’s got this beat.” Ali squeezes my arm. “Try to focus on all the ways she’s going to make you wait on her after instead.”
Horror washes over me. “Oh God. She’s going to be a nightmare.”
Holly gives me a quick grin. “That’s the spirit.”
“Who wants to take bets that she asks for a bell as a get-well gift?” Ali says dryly.
Before I can respond with threats of bodily harm to the sibling who buys it for her, the alarm on my cell phone goes off.
