Page 57 of Free to Run
“Which is why I was apologizing.” Keene leverages himself in front of me on his knees. “You deserved exactly five percent of what happened after we left the restaurant.”
“Which part is that?” I sneer, my anger coming back in full force. I jump from sitting to my feet in about point three seconds.
He stands as well. “The part where I kissed you. The rest was self-protective bullshit I dished out because I’m scared as hell of what I feel when I’m with you.” He laughs, and the bitter sound isn’t pleasant. “You’ve never met him. Did you know I look just like him? What if I inherited his shitty behavior too?”
Well, crap.
“You’re not your father,” I say carefully.
“How would you know?” he lashes out.
“Jesus, I swear it’s just like I told Cori. You turn into an asshole the minute the sun sets. Cool it with the vampire dickness and I might tell you!”
“Vampire dickness?”
“Yes! Every time we’ve been together when the sun’s gone down, you’ve turned into an asshole. I’m about to stop talking, texting, seeing, or speaking with you unless the sun is in the sky.”
He steps forward and wraps his arms around me, his body shaking.
“It’s not funny,” I warn.
“It really is.” I can hear the laughter in his voice.
“Keene.”
“Alison. First, I’m pretty certain I can be a dick all the time. Second.” He never gets the second item on his list out as he doubles over laughing with me in his arms.
It’s such a great feeling, I give him a few moments before I repeat, “You’re not your father.”
His hilarity sobers up quickly. “I hope I’m not, but I was never willing to try with any other woman. With you, I keep screwing up by being myself. Who knows what will happen if I let things get deeper between us.”
There’s no way he can’t feel the erratic thump of my heart at his words. Still, I do my best to deny it, and him. “I want to tell you there’s no way things are going to get deeper between us, but I guess that ship has already sailed?”
“And that, right there, is one of the many reasons I can’t deny this anymore. You’re honest, even when you don’t want to be.” His arms tighten slightly.
“I can’t do this hot and cold, Keene.”
He doesn’t respond. Verbally, that is. Instead, he pulls me tighter. “Do you know what I felt tonight?”
“No, what?”
“Envy. Pure envy at what my sister has with Caleb. I was watching them together, and it blew me away, realizing what they’ve found.” He’s quiet while he gets his thoughts together. “I resented Cassidy on so many levels when I first met her.” I knew this already but keep quiet while he continues. “I tried to stop Caleb and Cass when they first got together. Later, I hated myself for not recognizing her as my sister. But you know the thing that still gets to me the most?” His hands brush up and down my arms. “It’s that I was more interested in knowing I finally knew how to find you. When Cass slid that fucking phone with your photo across the table, she proved I was a sanctimonious asshole. I didn’t recognize my own sister after looking into her eyes, at her hair, and her face. I didn’t realize she was the sister I’d been looking for almost twenty years. All I could see was you.”
Whoa. “Seriously?”
“Alison, I can barely see other people when you’re in the room with me. I can barely control the urge to toss you over my shoulder and find the nearest flat surface half the time. The other half, I want to wrap my arms around you and dare someone to come between us. Does this in any way sound rational? Logical? That’s what’s been between us since the night we met. And if I hadn’t promised myself I’d find my sister before I ever fell in love with a woman, do you think I could have walked out of the Plaza that night?”
The twilight is outlining the planes of his face. It’s harder to make out his features now. I can’t see the truth or the lie in his eyes, even though his words are binding me to him through the shroud of darkness. “You don’t need to say that,” I whisper.
“I know I don’t.” His voice is harsh through the air. “But it’s time for some truths between us. It’s the only way you’ll give me a chance.”
“Why? Tell me that, Keene,” I challenge him. “I have a father in jail for trying to sell me…”
“And I have one who should be in jail for failing to find my sister,” he interrupts smoothly. “Your point is?”
Well, crap. When he puts it like that, I don’t have an argument. Keene’s right. My father was a direct perpetrator of his crimes. His father is just as guilty of the crimes against Cassidy as the monsters who took her, at least in our eyes, because he forgot about her. The bastard.
“You scare the hell out of me, Keene.” He stiffens. “I never know which you I’m going to get. One minute, you’re the concerned lover lambasting your sister over the way I’m being maligned at work. The next, you’re dumping me in the middle of Eighth Avenue. Do I need a crucifix and garlic?”
