Page 4 of Free to Run
I pause in the act of dropping kisses on varying heads or cheeks around the room. “Wow. I always feel guilty you guys work harder than I do on days we have events. Way to make me feel worse.” I decide to claim a seat by the wall, sliding down it to sit.
“Yeah, but you get us paid,” Phil pipes up, trying to lessen the blow. “And since we all like money, we let it slide.” Laughter fills the room. All but mine.
I pull out my phone and look through the pictures I took this morning, trying not to let my hurt feelings show.
Cassidy’s still laughing as she rubs a hand over her already protruding baby belly. She looks further along than the four months the doctors swear she’s at. It must be because she’s so petite. “Don’t worry, Ali. You’ll have plenty of extra work soon enough. You’ll wish for days when you didn’t have to be here. And no, you don’t get to pay yourself more for having to deal with Whirlpool.”
They all laugh again at the narrow look Phil sends Cassidy. I can’t help but smile too. Cassidy’s nickname for our older brother is inspired by a washing machine—living with him is like being on the spin cycle. “Be careful, little girl. Just because you’re going to be a mama soon doesn’t mean I won’t exact revenge.”
“Oh yeah? How?” she sasses him. Since falling in love, her personality shines, lighting up everyone around her. I only wish she could forgive me for being cautious with Caleb and not accepting him right off the bat.
“Maybe by telling your husband about the night we taught you how to give a blow job,” Phil taunts. He looks at Caleb, whose grin says Cassidy already neutralized his threat. Phil sputters indignantly. “Damn you, Cass. That was a family dinner. You’re not supposed to share what happens at those!”
“Caleb is family, remember? There was an event a few months ago? I wore a white dress? Veil? Announced I was pregnant?” Cassidy recounted, raising her eyebrow.
I sit back and cross my legs at the ankles. I wish I had my mocha. That’s all I wanted to celebrate my personal accomplishment. I don’t need to post pictures of my trail run all over the internet. I only need the personal satisfaction of a job well done and a celebration with double chocolate.
“Ha!” Phil says, still in a snit. “We’ll have to see what comes up at dinner tonight since the whole family will be there.” He emphasizes the word “whole.” My head snaps in his direction so fast, I swallow the ends of my hair in my mouth. As I pick them out, I think fast. What family dinner tonight?
Suddenly, the spot where I’m sitting feels like it’s covered in a bed of poison sumac. I shift uncomfortably, as if my skin is trying to peel off my bones. My teeth clench. Even my breathing alters.
I’m trying not to let my discomfort show before I look over at my oldest sister. Maybe Phil didn’t mean the whole family, as in the inclusion of a recently added brother who I can’t get out of my brain, short of an exorcism with our local priest. My hope is lost when Cassidy, who’s resting her hand on Caleb’s shoulder, beams at me, saying, “Yeah. Keene’s back from DC. Since everyone’s in town tonight, Caleb and I wanted to share some news. So…the farm at six?”
“Sure, she can make it,” Phil interjects. “It’s not like she has other plans.”
Actually, I do. I’m supposed to go on a blind date with a guy I met on a social media app not too long ago. That being said, I’m more than a little affronted that my family is so cavalier about my social life.
Hiding my face to avoid anyone catching the expression plastered there, I nod.
Standing abruptly, I decide to leave, overwhelmed with being perpetually punished for a misconstrued statement in the heat of the moment. “Then I guess I’ll see you all tonight.”
“Thanks, Ali. We appreciate it,” Caleb murmurs, scrutinizing me.
I make my way to the door as I say to everyone, “Have a lovely afternoon together.”
I close the door carefully behind me.
As I start to walk down the hall, I hear Em ask, “What’s up her butt?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she sat in some poison sumac. You know she’s allergic to it,” Phil quips.
Laughter floats through the closed door at my expense.
Coming in was a mistake. It feels like that more and more lately. Then again, ever since my last fight with Cassidy nothing seems right anymore.
* * *
Cassidy,if you just sign the prenup, you’ll be protecting yourself on top of the company. After all, Caleb is the first man you’ve ever really been with. By doing this, you’ll be protecting him, us, and yourself…
My words come back to haunt me as I race out the front door of Amaryllis Events. Even though I felt, and still feel, the advice was sound—to my sister who fell in love with the first man she ever dated, it was a declaration of war. I must hate Caleb. I must resent her because of Keene. Taking a pragmatic approach to our business caused such a fight I was surprised to be included in the wedding. In fact, two months later, I’m still being punished for it.
Escape. All I need to do is escape. Maybe if I can get away fast enough, the pain in my chest will ease up.
The summer breeze dances around me, rustling the ends of my hair. Jumping in my convertible, I just drive, taking a turn to head out of town and onto the twisty roads that lead to the peaks of Collyer. My little car wants me to let it go, so I drop it into third and punch the gas. I feel the response through the purring of the engine beneath my feet. With no real destination in mind, I fast forward through my playlist until I find a song that matches my mood.
Our past emotional wounds had barely scabbed over when Corinna, Holly, and I first met Phil, Cassidy, and Em. Wounds inflicted by being pawned out by our respective blood relatives to pay for their drug issues. My daddy’s little nasty habit was cocaine; something he picked up after my mother died.
I did everything I could to Phil, Cassidy and Em, trying to force what it was they really wanted from us. We had nothing left to give at that point. God, looking back, I can’t believe with the shit I spewed, but they didn’t walk away. One thing I was adamant about was refusing for Corinna, Holly and I to be separated. We held each other’s hands in the terrifying dark my father and his partner trapped us in and then through those equally frightening first moments out of captivity.
