Page 25 of Free to Run
I reach over for my coffee and take a sip while admiring my sister. Corinna is sexy, smart, funny, sweet, and Lord love the girl, she sparkles. And damn Colby for causing an ounce of pain and doubt in her.
I’m mad at myself. Our family has been through so much together. The pain we’ve suffered is the glue that holds us together day after day.
Wrapping my arms around her, I cuddle her close and admit, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m not enough anymore.”
She shifts back in order to look at me. “What do you mean?”
It’s my turn to fiddle with the utensils on the table. “I mean, what do I bring to this family, Cori, except disappointment? Honestly?” The burn hits, and I blink rapidly to prevent my tears from spilling over. “Please don’t say anything…”
“I’ll take this to the grave,” she vows.
I nod, knowing there’s no greater promise from her. “I’m a disappointment to everything I touch lately. To Cassidy and Em, and to Phil. God, it started so long ago, I don’t even know how I haven’t been voted out of the family.” I press the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop the pain.
“Where is this coming from? You’re not a disappointment, babe. Look at you! You graduated at twenty from law school. Twenty, Ali. You’ve managed our business and helped us grow. Why do you think you’re anything but what you are—which is amazing?”
“Oh, maybe because you haven’t been there for one of the many lectures Cass and Em see fit to give me about my behavior. Cass is permanently pissed at me about Caleb and recommending the prenup. About Keene. Most recently because of how I was up in his face at dinner because he was an ass after she and Caleb told us their news. I was ordered to play nice and apologize. I know if I wasn’t family, I would’ve been fired from the company. At this point, I’m so far in the doghouse, maybe I should resign.” I don’t realize how bitter and broken I sound.
It’s quiet next to me. I should have taken her silence as my warning.
“Are you kidding me?” she explodes. “Forget the prenup. That was a mistake and you apologized. That’s over. But why the hell do you have to apologize to Keene? He looked like he had a pineapple shoved up his ass the wrong way when they announced their news.”
I contemplate briefly if there’s a right way to have a pineapple shoved up your ass before I turn to face her. She’s now the one breathing fire. “Cass feels this is too much with her trying to navigate everything—” I start to explain before I’m cut off.
“Then let Cass get on the phone and tell her brother he needs to get a lobotomy or something after he’s removed the pineapple, Ali. I swear to God, if you apologize to him, I’m going to hit you,” she threatens.
I hesitate to answer. “I kind of did last night.”
Whack!
“Damnit, Cori!” Rubbing my arm in the same spot where Keene grabbed it, I glare at her.
“You don’t apologize to him! He should be on his knees apologizing to you, for this and so many other things, starting with Phil’s wedding. He may be the best lay you ever had, he may make you feel things you never expected, but I’m still waiting to see a soul in those eyes.” Corinna hesitates. “I don’t want you breaking your heart over him.”
My lips part. “Why haven’t you said anything?” I didn’t realize she had seen this much. I thought I was the only one who had.
I thought I was all alone. Always alone.
“Because you keep too much to yourself. Going on runs and trying to work crap out in your head. Now, if we’d figured shit out over chocolate, we’d talked before now and I would’ve told you what I thought.”
Even as I’m laughing, I’m curious yet hesitant to ask. “Don’t you like him?”
She tilts her head to the side. “I like how he is with Cassidy now, but he has wounds he has to be willing to heal. If he doesn’t, he’s never going to open his heart.” Her hand covers mine and gives it a squeeze. “If all you want is to screw him again, then go for it, honey, but if you find you want more, and if he’s not willing to go one hundred ten percent with you, then get out. Fast. Whatever you have to do.” She takes a deep breath. “Even if it means leaving.”
“Christ, Cori, I’m not planning on falling in love with him.”
Her eyes turn sad and discouraged again before she says, “No one ever does, Ali.”
I wrap my arms around her. “Whoever falls in love with you and gets you to love them in return is going to be the luckiest bastard in the world, Cori. You know that, right?”
With a small laugh, she squeezes me back and says, “Let’s see if I live to see that day.”
* * *
Before leaving the mall,Corinna’s managed to score some super cute Chucks in neon pink that will look adorable while she’s working. She’s smiling, laughing, and singing, which I realize I haven’t seen her do for way too long.
I did even better. I repaired my relationship with my sister. Leaning back in the seat as she drives her Volkswagen through the back roads to Collyer, I absorb the magnificence of Corinna belting out Kelsea Ballerini’s “Yeah Boy.” Her hair is blowing in the wind, her eyes covered with sunglasses, a gorgeous smile on her face.
Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed by how much I love her.
