Page 15 of Free to Run
I hear Phil and Jason shuffle farther away as I contemplate the evening sky with only the smallest spark of white in it. I feel like it represents my life—so little light to offset the darkness. But it shows me clearly the contrast between right and wrong, and why my rules work in my world.
I throw up my emotional defenses and walk back inside. I choke down the end of this family night, pretending I’m happy for my sister and best friend and ignore the daggers being shot at me from across the room.
Because I’m surprised to find her daggers hurt.
8
Alison
Afew days later, I’m putting the final touches on the monthly profit-and-loss analysis when I hear Cassidy say, “So if it wasn’t for Keene, I swear we would never have known about the potential for this,” as she walks past my office door.
“Does your doctor think it’s going to be a problem?” Em asks her. Doctor? What? I jump out of my chair and follow them around the corner to Cassidy’s office. It’s super cute the way her stomach is starting to lead her around.
“No. They’ve run the scan a few times now at Caleb’s orders. But knowing I’m the same size as my mother, and that she had placenta previa, changed my doctor’s approach for now until delivery. Caleb’s ensuring we take all sorts of precautions.” I turn into the doorway and walk into Cassidy’s office. She looks up at me, and I pretend to not notice her smile dimming. “Hey, Ali. Sit. I was going to tell you this later anyway.”
“What’s wrong? Is it the babies?” I demand.
“Chill out, Ali. She’s fine. She’s taking all precautions,” Em says on a laugh.
“What is it?” I know this is important, and somehow, not just to Cassidy and the babies.
Cassidy sighs as she mistakes my nerves. “It turns out Keene was upset about our announcement concerning the twins.” She shakes her head compassionately, while my thoughts turn snide at that understatement. “I wish I’d told him in advance because he doesn’t handle surprises well. At all. In this case, his reaction was for a good reason. A condition called placenta previa occurs in the women in my family, particularly if they’re pregnant with twins. After we shared the news, Keene immediately started worrying about the medical issue.”
Suddenly, I’m nauseated. “What does that mean, placenta previa?”
Em answers for her. “It’s when the placenta, which feeds the babies, implants itself in the wrong place. Without monitoring for the condition, it could lead to bleeding and possible detachment. It’s harmful and can lead to the loss of one or both babies. Cassidy could also lose so much blood she bleeds out,” Em states matter-of-factly.
Oh. My. God.
“And it’s a condition that occurs in your family?” I ask softly. I feel like I’m about to throw up between worry for Cassidy and the guilt for my harsh words to Keene.
“Keene told Jason about it after dinner the other night. Apparently, my mother was pregnant with twins before she had me. She lost both babies,” Cassidy says softly. I look at her with my eyes practically popping out of my head.
“How can you be so calm?” I yell.
She laughs. Laughs! “Because the minute Caleb heard about it, he was on the phone with my OB/GYN and paid an obscene amount of money to have a scan done yesterday. They fit me in when I didn’t have an appointment. The ultrasound focused on locating the placentas. They’re in a good location. Caleb even had pictures printed out for Keene to help alleviate his worry.”
Even I see the humor in that. I can totally imagine Caleb doing that, and it makes me smile. “Everything looks good, then?”
“Right as rain. We’ll go in every month for visits until delivery, ultrasound each time, no exceptions.” Cassidy shrugs. “Gives me more pictures of the babies to show off.”
I stare at her in amazement. “I have no words.” I sit in the chair across from her desk, astonished.
Crossing one leg over the other, I shake my head at Em. She smiles at me, and despite her laughing at my reaction, she’s relieved. None of us could handle it if something happened to Cassidy or the babies.
“Like I was saying to Em, I can’t believe Keene held it together as well as he did at dinner. I feel guilty,” Cassidy admits.
The insensitive words I said to Keene come crashing back to me. This explains why he acted like he did. His reasons weren’t selfish; he was buried in past grief and current worry. What have I done?
I begin to chew on my thumbnail, a sure giveaway to my sisters.
“What?” Em demands, as Cassidy shakes her head. “What happened?”
“Well…” I drag out the word in three syllables, my tempered Southern accent finding its way out of the box I bury it inside. “I might have had words with Keene for his behavior.” Cassidy tilts her head and waits for me to explain. “To be completely honest, I had the words. He didn’t say anything.” I drop my chin to my chest as my sisters let out simultaneous sighs of disappointment.
Silence falls for a moment before Cassidy asks me, “Do you know if this was before or after he spoke to Jason?”
“I don’t. But the things I said? I don’t think that matters,” I admit, feeling ashamed.
