Page 98 of Free to Run
I want to be infuriated with her for causing her family such pain, but I can’t. She’s taken every care to ensure their mental and physical well-being before she delivers this blow. Something I didn’t do with her. Even if that wasn’t what I had intended. Jesus, what am I going to do?
“Can we get on it with it?” I snap. “Everyone’s here now.”
All eyes turn toward me.
“Oh, if you have something to do with this, Keene…” Phil threatens.
“He has everything to do with it, Phil. But not for nothing. None of you gave a damn about Ali’s pain, not only about Keene, but about anything these last few months. Just read the damn letter so I can go back to work and mourn the loss of my sister,” Corinna declares. Everyone’s heads swing toward her, but she doesn’t back down. She meets each shocked look head-on.
For me, at least, I know for certain she knows everything. Maybe even where Alison is? I have to hold on to that little bit of hope.
“Phil, honey, it’s time,” Em gently encourages him. Jason, standing behind him, squeezes his shoulder. Phil sighs and tears open the back of the letter, the sound causing all of us to flinch. He unfolds the yellow legal pages and begins to read. “Hello, everyone.” Phil scans the letter a few lines. Visibly swallowing, he continues.
I never imagined the day would come when I no longer worked for Amaryllis Events or considered myself a member of the Freeman family, but here it is.
First, I need to apologize for the things I’ve done to anger you all over the last several months. Hell, years. I was only trying to protect everyone, always. My actions were driven with that goal in mind—protecting the goodness of our family. I was determined to do so, even if it cost me my own happiness. I should have just bowed out sooner. Phil, Cassidy, Em, from the moment you found Corinna, Holly, and I at that home, I knew my time with you was limited, but that was all right, so long as you took in the sisters of my heart and protected them for the eternity they deserved. I was willing to be cast out if necessary to spare them an ounce of pain. Each time I had to deliver bad news over the years about the business, about the house, or getting angry over the actions of Jason, Caleb, or Keene, I knew the length of time my usefulness to the family was being reduced. Rapidly.
I was trying to make you all fight for what you knew to be right in your heart of hearts. I was trying to be the voice of reason and keep us from falling into the traps of our parents, even when we weren’t sure who they were. In some ways, I guess I succeeded. In others, I ostracized myself from everyone. Except for Corinna. And Holly in the end.
My desire to leave started some time ago. I refuse to say when, but when I first thought of going, I thought I’d go with my family’s blessing, to stretch my wings a little bit. Not under the avalanche of pain I find myself in now.
I can’t say the pain I feel is worse than my childhood because it’s different. The pain on the block was because my father was strung out on drugs. The pain I feel today was the deliberate cruelty of a man who I can honestly say I fell in love with of my own accord, who said he was in love with me in return. I can’t say the shame is less because it cut deeper and will be felt longer. I can say I’m better equipped to deal with it. I’m not sixteen. I’m twenty-seven. And it’s because of the beauty of the last eleven years with you all that I can make decisions instead of reacting blindly.
There may be no open arms where I’m going, but that’s all right. I don’t think I’d trust them right now anyway.
Maybe someday we’ll meet again. Maybe someday you’ll forgive me for needing to go.
Please know everything I did, every decision I made, including this one, was with the intent of protecting your hearts first, last, and always.
Even though I’m no longer yours, you will always be my family forever where it counts the most.
My heart.
Always,
Ali
After Phil’s voice cracks on her name, a horrified silence fills the room.
Cassidy’s voice urgently says, “Call her. Call Ali. Call her now.”
Phil dives for the phone in the center of the conference room table. He quickly punches in her cell phone number from memory. The phone starts ringing. Once. Twice.
The pain I felt today was the deliberate cruelty of a man who I can honestly say I fell in love with of my own accord, who said he was in love with me in return.
The pain in my chest almost chokes me. Please, Alison, pick up, baby. Give me a chance to explain.
I hear a click as the phone is answered. “This is Jared.”
That pain intensifies. There’s no way to reach her.
The yelling by the Freemans starts. The only one not saying a word is Corinna.
Above the cacophony of sound, I yell, “She can’t have left so quickly. I’m going to her house. There has to be some kind of clue as to where she is.” My sister’s eyes flash up to mine, filled with both pain and gratitude.
Caleb walks me outside of the conference room, where the family is still badgering his brother-in-law for information. “Call me if you need me.” Clapping me on the back, he squeezes my shoulder tightly.
I didn’t think I’d need to make the call when I got there.
