Page 105 of Free to Run
“Oh. My. God. I have to sit down.” I hear Jared’s back slide against the wall. “How far…”
“Fifteen weeks,” I answer quickly.
“Ali, now that you know what happened, don’t you want him with you?” Jared asks, confused.
I start to cry. “More than anything, but how can he forgive me? How can he understand how hurt and scared I was?”
“Probably because he’s feeling the same way now. He’s petrified he’s never going to see you again. Maybe if you tell him, it’ll make it easier,” Jared offers helpfully.
I sniffle. “Do you think so?”
“Want to test it out? I can have him down the hall in about a minute.”
“He’s there?” So close. If Jared had stayed where he was, I could have heard his voice. And your secret would have been out, my head yells back.
“Ali, do you want to talk with him? You don’t have to tell him where you are or about the baby. Just that you’re safe and thinking of coming home,” he urges.
“Okay,” I whisper without thinking.
Seconds later, I hear the slap of wingtips against a hospital floor as Jared races down the hall before I can change my mind. My heart feels like it’s about to pound out of my chest. I hear quiet voices, and I start to panic. This can’t be good for the baby. I’m just about to hang up when I hear his voice after months.
“Alison, is it you?” Keene’s voice sounds like it’s manic.
“Keene,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
“What? No, baby. No. There’s no need to apologize. Just tell me where you are,” he pleads.
I’m sobbing into the phone. “There are things I didn’t say before I left. Important things.”
“Can you tell me now?” His voice is gruff.
“No.”
“Are you coming back?” His voice is laced with pain.
“Soon.” Hearing Keene’s voice again has locked in the decision I’ve been waffling against.
He lets out a deep breath. “That’s something, at least.”
“Even if I have to leave again after telling you, I need to see you one more time.” I don’t realize I’ve spoken the words out loud until Keene’s voice comes through the phone ominously.
“Alison, tell me where you are, damnit.” His patience is gone. Back is the demanding, autocratic man I fell in love with.
“I can’t. I have to go. I love you all—always. Goodbye, Keene.” I move the phone away from my ear, even as he’s shrieking my name.
“Alison!”
I disconnect the call. And before I can lose myself in the memory of Keene’s voice, I feel it for the first time.
A tiny little flutter.
“Oh, angel. You need Daddy too, don’t you?” I moan as I caress the tiny bump below my waistline. “We both do. I made such an enormous mistake by running. What do you think about going shopping for Cassidy and the babies tomorrow, hmm? We’ll send them a gift?”
After a while, I’m finally calm enough to drive back to my empty, barren rental apartment.
* * *
The next day,I head to an antique store that’s been in Charleston since long before I was born. I remember on rainy Saturdays, my mother used to bring me in to wander where we’d “look with our eyes” over the beautiful marvels imported from other countries. If it wasn’t busy, Miss Julie would tell me stories about the pieces they collected.
