Page 70 of Free to Dream
“”Au Clair De La Lune.” I don’t remember where I ever heard it, and it took me forever to realize what it was I was singing, but it always made me smile as a child. Now, I tend to sing it when I’m particularly happy.”
Caleb smiles and kisses me again, and when Keene clears his throat, I blush. “Sorry, Keene.”
“That’s okay,” he says awkwardly. “Did your parents sing it to you? One of your siblings maybe?”
Caleb’s face, which is still in front of mine, gets serious. Shit. With as much as I’ve shared with Caleb, I forget the people in his life he’s closest to don’t know. I’m going to have to have to tell them or let him.
This just got more complicated.
I hate feeling pity.
“I don’t know,” I reply quietly. “It’s a tough subject for me.” I’m somber when I reply to Keene who’s singularly focused on my face. “I actually have no memories of my life before I was four, and what happened after isn’t something I discuss. Ever.”
Keene puts down his mug and mutters at the counter. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”
I slide off my stool. “Not something you intended to cause harm over.” I walk into Caleb’s arms and he squeezes me tightly. His nose brushes against my ear. “I’ve got you.”
I whisper back, “I know.” I pull away with a smile and check the time.
“Oh crap, Caleb. It’s already nine-thirty! I’m going to shower so we can head out soon. I won’t have time back in Collyer. Keene, I’m sure I’ll see you again.” I race out of the room.
I have to admit, I probably had a half hour before I would have really had to freak out, but between the time and the way Keene was looking at me, I suddenly wanted to be anywhere other than in the kitchen under the admiring eyes of the man I love.
And the suddenly admiring eyes of his best friend.
24
Caleb
As the weeks pass, it’s getting harder and harder to not tell her.
She trusts me, and I feel like I can conquer the world.
I feel like a king.
I feel like I’m deceiving her.
When we’re together, we talk about everything.
Anything.
So much.
Not enough.
She knows so much about who I am, what I do, what I want to become.
A great brother.
A good friend.
And, someday, a beloved husband and father.
But the things I need to tell her, I can’t bring myself to say.
It’s bad enough I referenced her family pact that first night I stayed at her house. Thank God she never realized she’d never told me about it.
Since then, I’ve almost slipped any number of times when she’s opened up about her past.
