Page 19 of Free to Dream
Ry’s head snaps toward me.
“You fucking knew before I said a word?” he breathes.
“Only since Sunday.” There’s no bullshit in my tone. “I ran a standard background check on Amaryllis Events the way you asked me to.”
Ry is about to breathe fire of his own as he stalks over to me. “There’s no way the story I just shared comes up in a standard check, Caleb. What the fuck were you doing?” Ryan is shouting now. “You had no right!”
“I didn’t.”
“Then how did you know all of this? There is no way you would have known everything.” Suddenly, Ryan’s face pales. He looks at me. “You. Know.” He stops and swallows audibly. “Everything?”
I smile grimly at him. “Oh yeah, brother. Every-fucking-thing. And we’ll get to what you never told me in just a minute. But as for how I knew? When I bought Hudson, it turns out the Freemans were clients before I acquired the company. I asked my analyst for a standard business background. The information I got made me ready to kill on several levels, starting and ending with the fucking birth vessel who pushed us out.”
“Oh my god,” Ryan breathes, stumbling to the couch. “That’s why you demanded a preliminary meeting. You wanted to meet them.”
“You’re damn right I did. And as for the apology you owe Jason Ross, money doesn’t cover that, you stupid shit. You man up and call him! You give it to him face-to-face. He saved your fucking life,” I roar. “And you never told me?” I end on a whisper, lost at the pain-filled younger version of myself before turning away and walking over to the railing, breathing hard.
Silence. Well, as much silence as Tribeca on a Thursday offers. You could hear a pin drop on the roof, but below us, there was the typical hustle and bustle of the cabs.
I’m just about to turn around to head downstairs, leaving Ryan and Jared, when I hear, “You’re right.”
What?
I turn, leaning my hips against the railing, not saying a word.
“Before you ask me any of the millions of questions going through your head, brother, please try to understand this from my point of view,” he says wearily. He stands, walks over next to me and rests his arms on the railing, facing the city. I hate the look of defeat that has come over him. “You understand what it’s like to be hit, maybe even beaten, but not to be beaten to the core where your very soul lives. You know what it means to be bullied, but not humiliated where your skin is being used as a canvas and blood is the ink. You’ve seen the images of torture, but until you’ve been tortured and left to die for being nothing more than what you are, you don’t know what you’ll do to protect yourself where you’re cornered. You don’t know how often I wished I could just rewind and be someone else. You don’t know how many times I imagined taking my own life,” he whispers.
He’s silent for a few minutes, but what he says next guts me. “I always thought you blamed me for killing Dad the way she did.”
“Never, Ryan. Is that the kind of crap she said to you?” My skin is crawling from the knowledge that my brother was so close to death. By his own hand or by our mother’s. All for being who he was born to be.
“Yes. After the beatings would begin, I’d hear her voice say all kinds of things, like Dad had a weak heart and my revelation pushed him over the edge. You joined the Army because you wanted to be around real men. Dad never wanted a second son. Things like that.” His head remains turned toward the city. “Since I was hopped up on God knows what, I believed her. And then she gave me an almost lethal dose of GHB and dropped me in an alley in New Haven, probably with the intent of being raped and left for dead. I’m guessing you read the rest.” I’m clenching my jaw and Ryan nods. “Once Jason and his doctor got me off the drugs, I never wanted you to know. I knew you loved me, Caleb. You always had. And you’ve always been my biggest supporter. You’re absolutely right about one thing, I should have called Jason years ago to apologize. There isn’t any excuse, and it’s time.”
Ry stands up straight and claps me on the shoulder. I do the same. We lock eyes, our father’s eyes, and don’t say a word. A million thoughts pass between us. Recriminations, apologies, acceptance, and most of all, love.
Just when I’m about to pull him close, he surprises me with a question. “What about you?”
“What about me?” I reply, confused.
“When are you planning on apologizing to the Freemans, Cassidy in particular, for your appalling behavior? I mean, seriously? I’m certain you know things they likely don’t want you to know. The contents of the file you read, they must want what’s in it buried for a reason.”
That, little brother, is the understatement of the century. But I keep those words hidden and my face impassive. Or so I think.
“Right. So, with that in mind, do you really think tricking and embarrassing Cassidy was the appropriate move? Could you have gone there to meet her without being a dick?”
“I wasn’t a dick!” I exclaim. “I had a little fun with her, but we got a lot accomplished for your wedding.” Shit, was I a dick? I do a quick mental replay when Jared chimes in.
“If you had done that to me, you would be lucky if I took you on as a client afterward.” Jared, the well-respected attorney, wouldn’t tarnish his name by those means or any other.
Shit. All the things I found cute, Cassidy probably took mortal offense to. And knowing what I do about her history, it’s going to take a nuclear bomb to get me in the door again.
Fuck.
“Can you give me her schedule for the next few days? I need to figure out when I can get out to Collyer to talk to her.” Maybe I’ll take her out for coffee to replace the one that went cold on her today. And I’ll apologize.
My baby brother, the fucker, has the nerve to laugh in my face. “No can do, Caleb. Both Jared and I signed NDAs to get Cassidy’s personal schedule. In fact, that reminds me, you need to sign one to get your hands on her schedule for the wedding. It’s a two-way NDA. She won’t provide you any details about the wedding until you sign it.” Ryan and Jared both laugh.
No shit? Seriously? I would say good for the little darling, but this isn’t helping me out right now.
