Page 17 of Free to Dream
My heart is breaking in my chest for Ryan, Jason, and my brother who never shared these struggles. The tears begin to slide down my face and Jason reaches out his hand, but pauses. I know he won’t touch me in my current state unless I say it’s okay, so I give him an small nod. He brushes the tears away, wiping away traces of vomit along with them, I’m sure.
“I can’t tell you Ryan’s side of the story because that’s his story to share. I felt so damn guilty that I’d inadvertently hurt someone I knew was in a place of pain already. Phil told me what happened earlier today and I want you to know that I asked him to give Ryan the family discount. I expected Phil to have given you some warning, but he’s so accustomed to protecting your secrets. I shouldn’t be surprised he held mine so closely. You have to understand, to me, Ryan is and always will be my family, despite our not speaking. When Ryan contacted Phil to put out feelers about the possibility of using Amaryllis Events, I figured he might be reaching out. It’s not like he doesn’t know who Phil is.” Jason lets out a derisive snort. “Hell, with the Lockwood money, there are a million places he could have gone. All I knew was that Ryan had asked for dinner last night and the meetings today. I thought Phil would have at least given you some kind of background, but not fifteen minutes before the meeting. I never imagined it would have led to this. You know I never would have forced you to go back there,” he whispers fiercely.
Jason takes a deep breath. “You see, Cass, it wasn’t entirely Phil’s fault your day went to shit. I never meant for this to bring you tothatplace.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me this before? Didn’t you think I would understand?” I plead, still hearing Ali’s words, and the memories of long ago in my own head.Smack! Whore. Smack!
“Of course, I knew you would. But when we talked over dinner last night, Ryan indicated Caleb wanted to meet you first. I have no idea why. But I will say you need to be at the top of your game with this wedding, Cass. Caleb’s methods may have been asinine, but if he knows by now, he has reasons, and damn good ones.”
“Caleb may have reasons, but no one gets one of our weddings caught up in the middle of their issues, Jason. Just like no one will ever imply I’m a whore again, family or not,” I respond coldly. My body is rigid with tension, and not from the cold fall night permeating my bones.
Jason lets out a low sound. “I’m sure you’ll find a suitable punishment only you can think of, Cassidy. I’m not even going to warn Ali or my husband because he deserves it for being a clueless dick and not warning you before that meeting. He stripped you of the one thing you crave—your control.”
It’s amazing how insightful Jason is.
He stands and reaches for my hand to help me up. Pulling me in for a quick, hard hug, he whispers, “As for Phil, I’d start with getting him breve lattes for the next month with extra whip.” After holding me tightly for a moment, Jason winks before walking away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I stand still, listening to my brother-in-law’s footsteps crunching on the gravel path, back up the trail. When he opens the door to step back into the barn, I can hear the screaming still going strong.
Knowing that battle could take a while, I decide to walk around the lake to my house. My emotional state has been all over the place and I need some space. What a fucking day.
7
Caleb
Ikick back in the rooftop deck chair, wondering how things went with Amaryllis Events. “What happened after I left today?”
Internally, I’m still reeling from the contents of the file. Angry. Boiling over with rage over what had been done to six young children. Although, I think Phil might argue he wasn’t a child when the abuse stopped.
I was fucking infuriated by multiple systems which failed those children repeatedly. And after meeting the family that made themselves into a wild success from nothing, I was more impressed than I’ve likely ever been in my life. Including with the man who married into them, Jason Ross.
When I gave up my commission three years ago and came home to find Ry, he was no longer a wreck and I was grateful. For years over Skype, he’d been shaken to the core over a breakup he’d described as his first real relationship. Until he met Jared about five years ago, he refused to talk about why. Turns out, it was his embarrassment over how he walked out on Jason, leaving only a note when the relationship ended. Now, having read the file, I know he walked away from a friendship that saved him from our cunt of a birth vessel.
My hands tighten and almost crush the Baccarat tumbler of Bowmore I hold in my hand.
I’m brought back from my own thoughts, realizing I had zoned out.
“Caleb? You okay?” Ryan asks, perplexed.
“Sorry, brother.” I will myself to relax and lift my drink to my lips. “I keep thinking about a file dropped on my desk a few days ago. Can’t get my mind off it.”
“I know you can’t talk about your cases,” Ry starts, the concern he feels written all over his face. I watch as he shifts subtly toward Jared, and they communicate silently for a moment. A smile threatens my lips as I watch their interaction. “We’re here for you. For anything.”
“Thanks.” I shrug my shoulders to release the tension residing there and push the contents of the Freeman file from my mind. “I’m interested in what happened with the wedding planners. I was under the impression there might have been a small explosion after I left.”
Ryan sits back. “What makes you say that?” he asks curiously.
As I begin to recount the hour before Ryan and Jared walked through the door, I lose myself in the story. I’m not going to lie, thinking about Cassidy Freeman is detrimental to my sanity. The little pixie is a knockout with an incredible brain and a smart mouth. I close my eyes, replaying the hour spent with her. My heart kicks up a few beats thinking of her eyes, with swirls of blue and green framed by long dark lashes. So expressive when her passion kicks in like it did when she was in her element, planning Ry’s wedding.
I wonder what color they’d turn if I slid my lips over hers, or while I cupped my hands over her luscious ass? I’m getting hard just thinking about it, and I know I shouldn’t want to touch her. She’ll likely never want to be touched by any man.
Fuck.
I recount the horror on Cassidy’s face when I didn’t disagree to being one of the grooms. The hilarity of how she threatened to chop off all of Phillip Freeman-Ross’ hair. Being impressed with how efficiently she runs their business.
I know I’m smiling. I’m waiting for Ry and Jared to burst out into laughter.
What I get is a shrieking that would rival a twelve-year-old girl meeting Justin Bieber.
