Page 18 of Only Everything
But it wouldn’t because this sickness wasn’t real. It was in my mind. I was sick. I was his—Reid’s. But I shouldn’t be. Reid was my brother. Not biologically, but that didn’t matter to my dad when he’d killed Becky and then himself. I still hated the hole that was there because of all the unanswered questions. No beating. No screaming for me to explain. I didn’t even remember what the letters had said that Reid had written me.
I love you…
I miss you…
I can’t wait to be inside you again…
Hell, maybe all? I couldn’t remember. I’d picked them up and ran them under water before tearing them up to throw in the trash. I’d destroyed any evidence of what I’d caused. But every day I paid with guilt. With the suffering of cutting out the one person I wanted more than anything.
“The Mini Mart was open twenty-four hours. I can’t sleep. You can’t sleep. I think I’ll go get that test now.”
“Now? And leave me here alone with this storm coming through? You’ve got to be joking. How will you even make it back to the truck in the dark? The hike was miles. You’ll get soaked, and then you’ll be the one who ends up sick.”
Emmett sat up. “It is miles, which is why I should just go now. And this will be like training. It’ll be good for my job.”
“But…”
“You’ll be fine. I’ll pick you up some of those powdered donuts you like.” He crawled over, gently pressing his lips to mine, searching my face. “You’d like that, right?”He eased his hands past my drawn-up knees, placing his palm to my lower stomach.
“I would like that.”
His touch shifted, lowering as he dipped his fingers to rub a circle over my pussy.
“Donuts. Juice. Coffee. First, come lay back down. I’m going to make you feel better.”
“Emmett…laying down makes me feel?—”
“Come on.”
He didn’t leave me a choice as he pulled me up and eased me back to the pallet. His fingers hooked in my pajama pants and panties, pulling them down. Tears burned my eyes as he removed his boxers and lowered himself onto me.
“Kiss me. I’ll go slow.”
Lips met mine as he shifted, rubbing his fingers over my pussy. For minutes he built me up, teasing, going at a leisurely pace which was worse.
“I’ve never wanted you more than I do right now. You’ve been pulling away from me.”
“No—”
“Don’t lie to me.”
I couldn’t lie. Not with him so close and touching me.
“I know you’ve been looking for apartments. I thought I’d propose.” He nudged a finger into my entrance, withdrawing and stretching me as he added another digit to push deep. “I thought maybe you’d see how serious I was about us.”
“I-I see. We’re very serious.”
“I’m the one that’s serious. You’re the one who wants to leave me.”
“N-No.”
His head cocked and he stared down, but I couldn’t see his features enough to see just how angry he was. The darkness stole my ability to gauge his mood, and all I had was intuition. Instinct. Experience. Although his talking stopped, his fingers didn’t. They thrust, making me wetter despite arousal being the last thing I felt.
“You don’t want to leave me?”
“No. Our lease will be up in the next few months. You know I don’t like the neighbors. Something is always breaking. Maintenance is fixing something every month. You even thought the guy had a thing for me, remember? You were so mad.” I cried out as he slammed his fingers in hard. “The a-apartment isn’t for me, it’s for us. But if…if I am…we could get a house like you said. We could be a family.”
Lips crushed into mine, and it took everything I had not to sob. Not to break impossibly more over the lies that had become…me.
