Page 38 of Jase
I took another bite, letting the walls he put up, lower. Something happened with Jase. Something bad. Question was, what?
“Fine.” I took a drink. “If I ask you a question, will you be honest?” The look he threw said he had no intention of lying. “Okay, you replayed the video of this morning which tells me you’re recording it somehow.”
“It won’t last indefinitely. Not unless I want it to.”
“But it does so far. Have you ever replayed any parts before today?”
Jase blinked, looking down at his chopsticks. He placed them on his plate, sliding his fingers together to clasp in front of him.
“I see why you were blushing. You’re wondering if I’ve ever violated your privacy. I have. I never said I was a gentleman.”
My mouth opened, only to close. I hadn’t expected him to admit it. I didn’t even think he’d answer.
“What…” I cleared my throat. “What part? That one part where you watched? I know you saw me. I didn’t then, but I…”
“You hoped I was? You never answered me before. Why were you really calling my name?”
Fire. I was burning alive, and I wasn’t sure if it was from lust or mortification.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. Both maybe? I’m not right, Jase. I’m not okay. Surely you saw that in my therapy session.”
“What I heard from your therapist is that what you did was perfectly normal. What you do in the mornings after you get your vibrator. When you slide your hand back through that loop and tighten it to hold on—”
The chair scraped the floor as I shot to my feet.
“Kody, wait.”
My good hand lifted, and I took a step back.
“It’s hot. Hotter if you had someone to help, but you make it work. It’s perfectly healthy. She even said so.”
“Not for me.” I took another step back. “I can’t believe you—I mean. I…” I turned, not making it a few steps before large hands spun me, staying positioned at my lower back. He threw his hands up at my shock, slowly reaching back for my biceps. At my retreat, his face hardened.
“I shouldn’t have been so blunt. I see how hard it is for you. I understand.”
“Do you?Do you understand, Jase? Have you been tied up and beaten? Starved. Degraded? Broken!”
“Yeah. For two years.”
My anger and embarrassment melted as he reached for the button of his shirt. He only unfastened four. It was enough to show his tattooed chest. Even the ink couldn’t cover the scars slashing over his skin.
“Afghanistan. It’s a long story. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, but you’re not alone. Please, come eat.”
Even though my appetite was gone, I let Jase slide his hand across my back and lead me back to the table. His admission had sparked more questions. Ones I knew I couldn’t quite ask. If he’d been held captive and tortured like me, I could see his need for justice. Two years. Two fucking years. How was he even able to function?
My gaze rose to the screens. Then to the door. All the security; I could see it now. I could see his deep-rooted need for safety.
“Are you analyzing me?”
“Just appreciating your work. We’re both safe here.”
Picking up my fork, I went through the motions of eating. I tasted nothing. I felt everything. My eyes wouldn’t stop going back to Jase’s. We had a bond. One we didn’t have to talk about, but that was there. We were survivors. We also shared something deeper. Some kinky connection that was hotter than I’d let myself think about. I wasn’t sure how to take that.
“Do you like...” My eyes rolled as I felt myself try to shut down.
“Bondage?”
“Yeah.”
