Page 81 of Jase
Beep…
Beep-Beep.
Beep-Beep.
****
“Tell me. No. I swear to fucking God on all that’s holy, I will take that motherfucker apart limb by limb. He thinks he can hide from me? He has no idea who he’s messing with. No, I will not calm, Rian. Wait. She moved her fingers, I’ll call you back. —
****
“I’m fine. Yes, I’ve eaten. No, I didn’t call him back. You act like I give a shit that he’s the senator. He can shove his condolences up his ass. She’s not dead. Kody’s going to be fine. All he wants me to do is play his political bullshit game. We don’t do that at You2, and he sure as fuck doesn’t want to test me.”A deep breath.“She’s…got more color. She’s better but the same. I know how long it’s fucking been, Rian. Every God damn minute is torture.”A sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I want her to wake up. I want to find the man on the tape—DeWayne. I can’t believe I let my guard down. He told us. He fucking warned us, and I dismissed the threat. I underestimated him. This is my fault.
****
I grew up in Phoenix. I was seven when my dad got offered a job in Texas. The heat was brutal. I was a badass kid in my youth, up to nothing but trouble until I hit fourteen. That’s when I got into sports. It would have never happened had Coach Skinner not caught me nailing Jimmy O’Farrell with a tennis ball at full speed. The idiot stole Meagan Jenson’s pre-algebra book, and I was only trying to teach him a lesson. Regardless, I got paddled, and then offered a position to be backup pitcher for the school’s baseball team. That man saved my life. I lost the attitude and applied myself to every class I had. I managed to graduate with honors and joined the military shortly after. I worked hard. Got my degree. Applied and became an officer. I was in charge when we got taken in Afghanistan, Kody. I made the call, and it was the wrong one. I seem to keep doing that. Most of my men died. Parents blamed me. Some of their wives. I got a nasty letter once. I almost ended my life after that. I lived to drink. I even experimented with drugs at the clubs for a short spell.”
Pressure registered around my hand as the room became silent.
“I know I shouldn’t blame myself with what happened to you. There was no way of knowing the food was poisoned, or that the man who delivered to the front was Dewayne but fuck if I can help it. It kills me. I want to kill him more than anything in the world. Death seems to be the only thing I’m good at. I cause deaths by accident, and I crave to do it on purpose. What fucking kind of man am I? Not a good one. I guess I’ve never been. I thought when I found you maybe—”
I tried squeezing my fingers against the hold, not sure I’d accomplished anything.
“Kody?”
Nothing. My mouth refused to work. The darkness was coming back, and I was so tired. Maybe I could take just a short nap. Maybe I’d try again later.
****
Yeah, she’s still out. The toxicology report showed a cocktail of shit. Which one almost killed her is debatable. They may have said something about beta blockers. It’s a blur, truthfully. If anything it was the cardiogenic shock from the lack of blood flow to her heart that nearly did it. They say it’s weakened, but luckily there wasn’t significant damage to it or her other organs. This was too close. To fucking close. Still, she sleeps. It’s been days. This can’t be normal. I’m losing my fucking mind.”
Footsteps, then warmth around my hand.
“I will. I’m sure she’ll want to talk to her too. Ok. Sounds good. Bye.”A groan, then squeaking. Warm air brushed against my thumb followed by pressure from lips.
“I miss you. You’re right here, and I can’t stand that you’re not talking to me. I want to see your eyes. I want to hear your voice. Kody, please wake up. Please. I need you with me.”
Prickling burned down my arm triggering my eyes to crack open. The dimness had me blinking to bring everything in clear. I was semi-upright, and Jase had his head down, resting as he held to my wrist. His eyes were closed and salt and pepper growth was beginning to cover his face. It was so unfamiliar, but he wasn’t.
“You missed me?”
The words came out scratchy and thick as I tried to swallow. Jase’s head flew up, and he moved so fast, I couldn’t process him standing or pulling me in so he could wrap his arms around me. Everything was distant. Even awake, I felt so far away.
“Oh, thank God. Yes. Fuck yes, I missed you. Don’t you ever leave me like that again.”
I opened my mouth but could barely talk with how big and dry my tongue felt. I tried clearing my throat. It was raw which made it hurt worse. Jase lifted a cup, and I took a drink, nearly choking as I tried to swallow.
“What…happened?”
Jase’s expression hardened as he placed down the cup and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached back for my hands, holding as he pressed his forehead to mine. Words came through, but not from him. Memories. Or were they dreams? Nothing made sense.
“I was sick.”
“Poisoned.”
Yes. The nausea had hit from nowhere. I tried to fight it, but by the time I got up to become ill, I could barely stand. The pain and cramping. My body jolted at the memories. Jase lifted his head, only to pull me forward so he could hold me to his body.
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful. I underestimated these people. I was stupid. What the fuck was I thinking? I—”
