Page 20 of Jase
She stood from the desk as I nodded. The pain was getting unbearable. I hurt everywhere, but there was something comforting in that. Whether I wanted it or not, I was alive when I shouldn’t have been. Yet…I was alive. It was almost too much to think what that even meant for me now. Would people recognize me once I left? When I healed? Would they always be over my shoulder, reminding me what I so desperately wanted to forget? Or maybe the scars would do that on their own. Who needed people when your reflection said everything?
“Let me help you.”
The nurse assisted me into bed. By the time I had my medication and clean bandages, all I wanted was to shut my eyes. The door closed behind her, and instead of giving into sleep, I took in the blank TV screen. At any time, I could have lifted it into the ceiling to make it disappear. There were reasons I didn’t. One, I couldn’t turn away from who I was now. Every free moment, I took in the damage. I studied it. This was who I was. This had really happened to me. Acceptance. Two…him. If I had my television up, he might not be able to communicate with the power. He obviously wasn’t calling again, but I had this part of him, and it helped me, even if it wasn’t real. Even if this was me. Was it? Was I doing this?
I’d figure that out eventually. Or maybe not. I read enough books to know some people never came back from events like the one I’d gone through. Obsessing over what was real or not wasn’t going to do me any good right now. Facing a terrifying truth would only make me worse. I needed to think he was watching. I needed him to make me feel safe. At least for now.
“I haven’t decided on a good name for you yet. I can’t call you God, but ghost doesn’t seem right either.” I pulled the blanket higher on my lap as I lowered the top of the bed just the smallest amount. “Do you have a name? Can you somehow tell it to me? Probably not. I guess that wouldn’t be safe. Was that you who called that boy?”
Heat flooded my face and embarrassment had me clearing my throat as Detective Mallory walked in, knocking at the same time.
“I’m sorry. The nurse said you were awake. Were you talking to someone?”
“No. I mean, yes. I was talking to myself. I do that sometimes.”
“Oh.” The detective glanced around the room again, before heading towards the bed to look at me. “I just wanted to follow up from our last visit. You seem to be doing better.”
“I am, thank you. Is it just you? Detective…I’m sorry, I forgot his name. He’s not here?”
“Adame, and yes, he’s just outside talking to your nurse. Have you remembered anything else since we last spoke?”
Aching took over my good fist as I let go of the comforter I was squeezing. “You mean, you haven’t found David yet? No dungeon? Did you look at towns by the woods? I mean…he took me to a place with a lot of trees, and it didn’t take us very long to get there from his house. I don’t know where it was but…I’m sorry. I’m talking fast.
“It’s okay. No need to apologize, Ms. Marshall. We’re still looking into some places, and we have some great leads, but nothing has surfaced quite yet.”
“Oh.” My breaths were deepening again. The icy touch of death kept creeping up my spine. I knew this feeling well, but there was no reason for me to panic. David was dead. He had been killed. The man on the phone assured me of that. “I wish I could remember more. I…I’m trying. I just don’t know what else I can tell you.”
“You’ve told us more than enough. I just wanted to stop by and check. If you do recall anything else, please give us a call.”
“I will. Thank you for stopping by.”
He nodded, leaving me feeling worse than I had in days. I scanned the room remembering only a minute ago I had been talking out loud, even jokingly, as if someone was listening. What if they weren’t. What if…Fuck.
If I had ever felt unsure of my ghost, it didn’t compare to how much I was questioning him now. Or myself. What if I wasn’t okay? What if I had invented it all? Did a man even meet us out in the woods? Had he even dropped me off at the store? What if I walked there myself? What if…I killed David, and I couldn’t remember? Couldn’t I have invented the call as a way to release the guilt? What if I were suppressing it because of the reality of the entire situation? After all, one of the last things I remembered was staring into the light. Then, the silhouette. I doubted anyone saw me get dropped off. There was probably no footage of me outside the store. What was real? What was happening?
I had no idea, and I didn’t think I was going to find out any time soon. The detective was gone, and my phone wasn’t ringing from my mystery man. I couldn’t depend on the idea of him anymore. I had to figure this out for myself. No more talking out loud. No more doing anything that might make me appear crazy. The sooner I could get home, the better. It was time I started pushing for a release. Three more days I could do. Five was out of the question.
Chapter 9
Jase
Movement.It was what I had been waiting for. One woman: dark-skinned, curly, shoulder length hair. She was tall. Curvy. Attractive. It was Tiffany Welsh. With her…Kody, wearing a loose, long-sleeve dress. Her brown, layered hair was down to the middle of her back, and she was wearing sunglasses, even inside. I tore my eyes from the monitors on my wall, forcing myself to look down to my laptop.
Work.I sat up straighter.
“I want to start out by saying you all are doing an excellent job. I know it’s going to be a long day of meetings, so we’ll make this short. I’ve already looked at the numbers, and I’m very proud of the hard work you’re all doing. We’re at a record high and climbing. Our average accounts for the month are staying steady at four-hundred thousand per day. Is there anything new you want to add?”
Five faces stared back from our weekly virtual meeting. Two were relatively new. The other three had been with me from the beginning. Aside from numbers, the meetings were almost the same. Barbara would discuss new ways to bring in members. Rush would go over the competitors and give ideas to make us more appealing. Rian would argue with Rush, trying to one-up him even though he headed security with me. They’d been bickering for years, and I was okay with it. Most brothers did, especially twins. Usually, Rian had good points anyway. He was the one who brought up automatic payments and subscriptions before they became popular. We went with it, and it paid off. As for Kramer and Amber, they had potential, but I expected them to prove themselves. I trusted no one, and for good reason.
“Our competitors don’t stand a chance. Bash-up’s numbers are falling. Word of mouth accompanied with our awesome site is taking care of everything. I have a few ideas to grow accounts, but I’m still brainstorming for the magic idea. If you’re looking to make this short, we can talk about my concepts next week.”
My eyebrows rose at Barbara causing her to roll her eyes.
“Surprise, surprise. Save it, Jase. My lips are sealed this morning. You’re lucky I woke up late and my coffee hasn’t kicked in. I’m good. Rush?”
His hands lifted and he shook his head. “She’s right. Bash-up is on its way out. I’ve heard rumors they might sell, but that’s all it is right now, rumors. Winzel’s been shit the last quarter. Jumble’s numbers are close, but their site isn’t as mobile-friendly as ours. We’re at forty-eight percent. They’re only at half that. We’re at the top, my friends. Let’s keep it that way.”
“Amber. Kramer.”
