Loud parties and social gatherings just weren’t my thing. Back in my younger days, I endured them for the sake of my friends. Watching my brothers have a good time helped ease the worry. Military life wasn’t always easy, and they were mine to protect and keep safe. But all that changed. Years passed. The unimaginable happened. My world and so many others were completely turned upside-down. I went from public tolerance, to self-destructive partying, to isolation. It was crazy how things had played out. How life could shift from day to night in a single moment.
“Eight years. May we never forget.”
My teeth ground as Rian lifted his beer and moved it towards the webcam so that I could see it come closer. As his bottle took over one of the many monitors on my wall, I lifted my whiskey. “Never.”
I finished my drink, placing the glass down so I could immediately refill it. From the look on my best friend’s face, he wanted to ask something. He didn’t. I may have been close to shit-faced drunk, but I saw the moment his demeanor changed. I could read him like a book, and he’d already found a way around interrogating me.
“Don’t. Not tonight.” I put down the decanter, taking a sip before leaning back in my chair.
“Jase, come on. I can’t remember the last time I saw you sober. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen your actual face in person. Talk to me.”
“And tell you what?”
“Tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“Nothing. And you saw me this morning during our meeting. I wasn’t drunk then. I’m never drunk during meetings.”
Rian’s eyes rolled. “Drunk, no. Do you have alcohol in your system, yes.”
“Don’t give me that shit. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Did you do it?”
I didn’t have to ask what he was referring to. My need for vengeance was well known between the two of us, and given our past and online expertise, I knew right where to find it.
“Not yet.”
“Don’t. We’ve gone down that road once before. We did what we needed to. We said never again. We promised.”
I took another sip as I stared across my living room at Rian’s worried face. His light eyes were narrowed, and his brown hair was disheveled from its usually neat appearance. We weren’t who we used to be. Not even close. Not even a little. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t process how we’d gone from having a purpose to…this. And by this, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. We had it all. We were financially set, and yet I’d never been more miserable.
“I know what I promised.”
Rian pulled his tie free, nodding. “I miss it to, you know.”
“Which part? Before…or after?”
“Both. Even after, at least you were driven. You may have been spiraling, but you created the most successful social media site in history. You went out.You had a life.”
“And weallknow how that turned out.”
“It was one mistake. One reporter. He crossed the line, you know that. Come back, Jase. Come back to the office. Let’s meet in the conference room instead of online. Let’s go to lunch together. Grab dinner. I know Rush would love to see you.”
I laughed, tossing back the glass to finish it off. “Rush sees me all the time. Your twin can’t stand me. Not since.” I stopped. “We’re done. I have things to do.”
“What sort of things?”
Rian would have seen right through the lie that was on the tip of my tongue, but he couldn’t handle the truth. Could I?
“This was great,” I said, lifting and tilting my glass towards him. “Let’s do it again next year.”
“Jase, you can talk to me about anything. I’d rather hear what you’re hiding than.” He stopped, wiping his hand down his face. “What can I do?”
I blinked away the memories of our past, not succumbing to the emotions they stirred. Not here. Not now.
“I’m good.” I forced a smile. “You know how I get on the anniversary. I just need—”
“It wasn’t your fault.”