Page 137 of Twisted Trails
But he’s already snatching Finn’s bike. “You sure,Papi?”
“Sure. Knock yourself out.”
Luc grins like a devil and grabs Mason by the arm. “Come on, Pretty Boy, time to embarrass the youth of Italy.”
Mason groans but follows, and I take a few steps into the shade of a nearby tree and plop down onto the grass.
I watch them head toward the starting hill, already talking shit and bumping shoulders, while Toulouse nestles into my lap like a furry hot water bottle. Finn lowers onto the grass beside me, setting down the little speaker hebrought from his car between us. A moment later, his usual music starts playing.
I look at him out of the corner of my eye, at those arms I jumped into without thinking yesterday. A short-circuit of gratitude and adrenaline, but now I don’t know what to do with him sitting so close. I stroke Toulouse’s ears, but when I catch Finn glancing at me, too, he doesn’t say anything either.
Neither of us seems quite sure which version of ourselves we’re supposed to be now.
I let my gaze drift to Mason, who’s trying to race the BMX down the little rhythm section, laughing so hard he nearly wipes out.
That does something to me. Something powerful.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
Finn glances over. “For what?”
“Everything. The finger guard, for getting Mason riding at his full potential. I don’t know. For showing up, keeping your word.”
He leans his head back against the tree trunk. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“But I don’t know what else to do,” I whisper. “You missed the race because of me.”
His head jerks back toward me, brows knitting. “Al.”
“You missed qualifying because you spent all your time fixing my grip and getting it approved, andthey didn’t let you race. I ruined your last season. I’m?—”
“Stop.” His hand encircles my wrist, cutting me off mid-apology. “Al,please.Don’t feel guilty. Youdon’t have to.I’m not racing anymore.”
I blink at him, stunned. “What?”
He releases me and looks away. “I ended my career after Les Gets.”
“What?” My voice cracks. “No. Why? Because ofme?”
“Not because of you. You didn’t pressure me. You didn’t make me feel anything but…” He sighs, shaking his head a little. “You gave me clarity. That’s it. I’ve wanted to stop for a while now.” He finally looks back at me then. “I just never had the guts.”
My heart pounds in my ears. “Finn, you don’t justenda career like that. Not in the middle of the season. Not when you’re still ranked top five?—”
“Oh, but Ican,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching. “And Ihave.”
“Butwhy?”
His eyes burn so quietly and full that it almost hurts to hold his gaze. “Because I can’t do both. I can’t keep one foot in something that’s been dying for years and still give you, us, a real shot. I can’t focus on racingandon making this right with you. My priorities changed.”
I don’t breathe. I can’t.
“I know you havehim.” He nods toward the track, where Luc is currently trying to jump the rhythm line sideways. “Andhim.” Mason yells at Luc for almost flipping the bike.
“I know they make you happy,” Finn continues. “And Ilovethat. I love watching you laugh with them and seeing how they take care of you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there, too, however you’ll have me. I just want a place. Somewhere I get to make you happy again.”
All I can do is look at him.
Because it’shim. Still. Again.
