Page 161 of Roulette Rodeo
The Maserati purrs to life, and he drives away slowly, like he has all the time in the world. Like he didn't just eviscerate me with words sharper than any knife.
I don't know how long I stand there.
The rain soaks through everything—jacket, shirt, skin, maybe even bone. It runs down my face in streams, and I can't tell if it's all rain or if some of it might be something else. The cold seeps in gradually, then all at once, until I'm shivering, but I can't seem to move.
She doesn't love you.
The words echo in my skull, bouncing off memories of Sophia's empty smiles, her perfect compliance that never quite reached her eyes. How many times did she say she loved me? Loved us? And how many times did I convince myself that the hollow sound of it was just her being shy, being proper, being omega?
Sophia didn't either.
I knew that.
Have known it for two years, probably knew it even before she died. But hearing it stated so baldly, so carelessly, by someone who was there, who watched it all fall apart...
The coffee shop door unlocks with a soft click that somehow carries over the storm. The door opens slightly, and Red's head pops out, auburn hair immediately catching the rain. She frowns when she sees me, confusion and concern warring on her face.
"Why are you standing in the rain?" She huffs, exasperation clear even from here. "You're going to catch pneumonia."
Before I can respond, she's pushing the door open wider and pulling me inside. The sudden absence of rain is disorienting, like stepping from one world into another. The coffee shop is warm, dim, smelling of coffee and old books and a vanilla aroma.
"You're drenched," she says, stating the obvious as she looks me up and down. Water pools at my feet, and I'm probably ruining Mrs. Chen's floors, but I can't seem to care.
"Do you have a change of clothes?" Her hands are gentle as she helps me out of my soaked jacket. "No…maybe not. Why would you…but in the car, maybe?"
"It's fine," I manage, voice rougher than intended. "We're going home anyway."
"No, no." She shakes her head firmly. "You can't drive like that. You'll freeze, and your hands are already shaking. Let me see if Mrs. Chen has something in the back. She keeps extra clothes for her grandson sometimes?—"
Thunder booms overhead, the sound massive and immediate.
Lightning flashes simultaneously, turning the world white for a split second.
Red jumps, startled, and I grab her wrist without thinking, needing to keep her close, keep her safe.
Keep her from disappearing like?—
She peers back at me, those garnet eyes wide with something that might be surprise or might be fear. I don't know what expression I'm wearing, what she's seeing on my face.
I should let go, step back, rebuild the walls that keep me functional.
But I can't.
I can't let go, don’t dare to look away, can't pretend anymore that she doesn't matter.
That she's just a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
That I haven't been falling for her little by little, since the moment she stood up to me in that hallway, matching my hostility with sass instead of submission.
Hell…maybe it was the moment I watched her walk past all those Alpha packs until she was before ours…
Her free hand comes up slowly, carefully, like she's approaching a wounded animal. Her fingers are warm against my cheek, and that's when I feel it—the wetness there that has nothing to do with rain.
Her eyes widen further, understanding dawning in those depths.
"Rafe?" she whispers, voice so gentle it breaks something inside me. "Why are you crying?"
BREAKING IN THE STORM
