Page 116 of Seer
His fingers felt divine on my scalp, then later on the rest of my body.
Guys always want me to top, but I really prefer to bottom.
Cal coughed. “Thanks for telling me, Greg. We’ll make that happen for you. But not tonight.”
He shuffled us around so he could rinse himself, then he turned off the shower and briskly toweled me dry.
“Time for bed.”
I woke slowly, Cal’s sleeping self pressed against mine, both physically and mentally. His arm across my belly anchoredme to him, and I could feel his soft chest and stomach against my back, with his morning wood drilling into my ass cheek.
I tried to stay in the moment, knowing I wasn’t going to like remembering the night before, but the more I tried to avoid thinking about it, the more I thought about it.
And without my permission, my brain accessed Cal’s gifted memories in their entirety.
Vampires were the least of my worries.
Cal and I were bonded.
An emergency bonding, just to save my life.
And Lloyd and the others had asked Cal to verify my consent for the bonding, but no one had verified Cal’s.
He hadn’t included much in the way of emotions when he’d packaged up his memories of last night and given them to me. So I had no idea how he’d felt about bonding with me.
But even if he’d welcomed it, as of last night we’d only known each other for six days. Six days. And sure, we’d already been connected for life, but bonding was way more intimate than that. Way more invasive.
According to everything I’d ever heard, Cal and I wouldn’t be able to be apart from each other at all for the next week or so. That’d be inconvenient, since we both had work. He probably wouldn’t want me to go to the office with him, but maybe after a few days our bond would allow me to stay in the car while he went inside.
I needed to make this as easy on him as possible. Over the last week he’d ended up sacrificing his whole way of life. He hadn’t asked to become involved in the world of magic carriers and Wonders. He hadn’t deserved to be permanently connected and now bonded to some guy he barely knew.
Cal probably resented the hell out of me, having to risk his life for me, having to bond with me. He deserved a grand romance, to be wined and dined before voluntarily making a commitment. He’d probably never imagined the guy he’d end up with would be such a useless loser like me.
Holding my breath so I wouldn’t wake him, I slid from under his arm and got out of bed. He didn’t stir. It was only 6am; he was probably exhausted after fighting off the vampires by himself and taking care of me all night.
I was naked, so I carefully and quietly slid open a couple of drawers to grab boxers and a t-shirt. Mopping my eyes with the shirt, I left the bedroom and shut the door behind me.
But the bond wouldn’t let me go any further. I stopped before my pushing against it woke Cal, and I put on my clothes. Then I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall, letting my tears flow.
How could I go through life being bonded to someone who hadn’t actively wanted to be with me? But even worse, now the bond was in place, Cal couldn’t live apart from me as he no doubt wanted to.
There was no way out for us, just a future where we were trapped together. All I could do was try not to be a burden on him.
My breathing became shallow and fast, and I was well on my way to hyperventilating.
Ms. Jackson nudged my head, but I pushed them away.
I didn’t notice the bedroom door opening, but suddenly Cal was there, crouching beside me.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You having a panic attack?” He sat down next to me and gathered me in his arms. He was only wearing his underwear.
I shook my head and tried to crawl away.
“Nope. No running. Not that you can get very far right now anyway.” He pushed my hair back, using the hem of my shirt to clean off my face.
Fuck, I was probably a mess of tears and snot. I batted his hands away and did it myself.
All I could sense through the bond was caution.
