Page 47 of Holding On to a Hero
“But—” I started. Ally steamrolled on.
“But if you’ve gone out on even a couple of dates, then there’s still some uncertainty as to whether they can have you. Now you have the power.”
I wasn’t sure Cole and Jason cared or even thought about who had the power in a relationship, but I also didn’t want to look like a clingy guy with no life. Even though that’s exactly the way I’d been feeling. And acting.
So yesterday I’d gone online and started chatting with a guy who didn’t look too intimidating, and suddenly I had a date. Tonight. I was going, but I was pretty much dreading it.
I sighed. I’d taken Abby to the park yesterday, so I uploaded a selfie of the two of us to Jason and Cole’s folder. I felt uncomfortable continuing to put the photos out there while dating other guys, but what if Jason actually was looking at them? He was in hiding with Cole, who certainly wasn’t chatty right now, and otherwise he probably only had Brian to talk to. I curled my lip.Brian.I’d keep putting the photos up. At least he’d have something to brighten his day.
I was finally free of the arm brace, so at least I didn’t have to crop that out of the selfie. But I could tell I’d lost weight, and my color wasn’t great. So far Ally hadn’t said anything, so I was hoping she hadn’t noticed.
“Will, make sure you eat breakfast!” Shit, she’d noticed.
“I’m going to! I was just, uh, looking into a trip to the coast to photograph that flamingo that escaped from the Kansas zoo a while back.” This was a lie, though I’d always wanted to go to Lavaca Bay, where the “lonely flamingo” was seen most often. Whooping cranes should be wintering there now too. But my shoulder and back weren’t up to that long a drive yet. And just thinking about going was exhausting.
Ally came to stand in front of me. I knew she had another video conference in a few minutes, since I was assigned to take Abigail to school. But this time she was actually completely dressed in work clothes, with the exception of her fuzzy slippers.
“Why the fancy pants? Is this a full-body video conference? Is there a hot European investor on the call?” Diversion tactics are learned young.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I have to leave right afterwards, if you must know. What time is your date? Can you still pick Abby up from school?”
We negotiated childcare for the evening, then she started her call and I took Abby to school. I did pick up coffee on the way to Wild Basin Wilderness Preserve, so that would count as breakfast in case Ally asked. The trails were fairly crowded for a weekday, but I was able to forget my worries for a while and focus on pictures of birds and trees and falling water.
At least I hadn’t had physical therapy today. My PT was, well, I didn’t want to call him a sadist since he hadn’t shared his personal preferences, but he was extremely optimistic about my ability to complete exercise reps. After a session I often had back spasms all night. Not that I was planning to spend the night with my date, but I wanted to be able to get up from the table at the restaurant and walk out the door completely upright.
My date’s name was Felix and his profile said he was in his late twenties and worked in customer service. He was about my height and had curly red hair and lots of freckles. He was super cute, but to be honest, out of all the lonely hearts on the app I chose Felix because his profile photo was so awful. Bad lighting, bad angle, and too far away. He couldn’t be getting that many messages, even though he was really attractive once you zoomed in on his face and adjusted the brightness.
So, figuring he wouldn’t be chatting with too many other guys, I messaged him. And he messaged me back. He seemed nice, so I asked him to dinner. But I wasn’t burning to get to know him. Mostly I itched to retake that photo for him. Would it be crass to bring my camera? Probably. It wouldn’t be too nice to tell him I could get him more action on the app when he probably expected me to be interested in dating him. I decided that if we decided to be friends, I’d offer then.
Picking out what to wear was even more tortuous than it’d been for my first date with Cole and Jason. Because apparently my best outfit was still what I’d worn that night. Yeah, no. But time was running out before I had to leave. Ally had just gotten home, but she was tied up with getting Abby’s dinner sorted. And I hadn’t told Abby I had a date, because she kept asking me about Jason and his friend Cole.
Boots and jeans, check. The jeans were a little more on the dad end of the spectrum, but I wasn’t trying to get laid. I hoped Felix wasn’t trying to get laid.
Shirt, shirt, shirt. Surely I had a decent shirt. I stuck my hand in the far end of the closet and grabbed. It was wrinkled and it was purple, but the restaurant would be fairly dark, so it would do.
Time to go. I could do this. I was doing this.
* * *
Excerpt from transcript of interview with Kaelisha Nichols, author of a threatening letter to Cole Washburn:
Ranger Ramirez: Ms. Nichols, can you please take a look at this printout of an email and tell me if you recognize it?
Nichols: Um, no. I’ve never seen that before.
Ranger Ramirez: Okay. It’s just that the sender signed your name and the email address it came from is the same one that is the user ID for your Texas Department of Public Safety driver license renewal login.
Nichols: Oh, my God! My identity has been stolen! I need to file a police report, don’t I? Can you help me?
Ranger Ramirez: We can discuss that once we’ve finished this interview. Let’s talk about what the email is saying. Do you agree that Cole Washburn should be killed because he retired from acting?
Nichols: That’s not exactly what it says.
Ranger Ramirez: Oh? That’s the way I read it.
Nichols: I mean, technically. But it’s just a metaphor.
Ranger Ramirez:A metaphor.
