Page 29 of Holding On to a Hero
Cole tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Then he continued, “But I actually got mine. It’s Hollywood legend now.” He snorted. “I still can’t believe it, and it happened to me.” His eyes opened but I didn’t think he was seeing anything in front of him. “One night I was closing. I took the trash out and I saw this dirty little hairball of a dog digging through the food scraps that had fallen next to the dumpster. I got him to come to me, and he was wearing a fancy collar with a tag on it.”
Talk about a movie-worthy story. “And that was your agent’s dog?”
“Godfrey Samuels, agent to the stars and all-round asshole.” Another long breath came out. “He took one look at me, gave me a hundred bucks and his business card, and told me to come to his office the next day. I show up and he has me do a cold read, not that I knew what that was called at the time.
“He told me he could make me a star, and I could have the lifestyle everyone dreams about, but I had to do exactly what he told me to, and it wouldn’t be easy. Shit, I was just a kid still. I didn’t have any concept.” He shook his head. I dared to reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. He put his own over mine to squeeze it and then went on.
“One of the things he asked was if I was gay. I told him yes. He told me if I really wanted to do this, the correct answer to that question was always ‘No’. And from now on I couldn’t be out at all. No clubbing, no anonymous hookups, nothing. He told me if I, quote,needed to scratch an itch that badly, he’d arrange for me to be at the same party with some other actor who was in the same boat as me, but we could never be seen together otherwise.” He rolled his head around to meet my eyes. “In case one of us got outed, it wouldn’t drag the other down too.”
Cole finally turned to face me. We were inches apart, separated by the fence. “I was desperate enough a couple of times that I asked him to do that, but it made me feel awkward and dirty.”
My hand was still on Cole’s shoulder so I squeezed it. “That’s awful. You were alone for what, ten or twelve years before you met Jason?”
He nodded. “Almost thirteen. Godfrey reminded me all the time if I was caught with another man my career would be over. And based on what I saw in the industry, he was right. And of course he’d always drop hints about how my coming out would harm him and his own career.”
“Ah, guilt. Lovely.”
“Oh, yes. He used all the tactics to keep me around. It took me years to see that while Godfrey gave me my first big opportunities, the acting lessons and auditions, it was my hard work that made me a success.” He smiled then. “One good thing Godfrey did was introduce me to Charla – she was in a situation of her own where she needed a cover boyfriend. She was smarter than me though – she ended up getting a new agent way before I did. But she’s a good friend now.”
“I’m glad you had that.”
“Me too. I had no idea how lonely my life would get.” He looked over at the horses and then straightened. “Looks like I can get to the wheelbarrow at last. Let me grab it, and we can get some coffee.”
Cole went to get the wheelbarrow and I met him at the paddock gate. “Anyway, the point of all that was to say I got my big break because of a stray dog. It just seems fitting to spend my money helping out other animals in need.”
“And Texas? Because it’s far away from Hollywood?”
Cole grinned. “No one has looked for me here so far. The Austin area is pretty liberal, and Texas has the added benefit of no state income tax. I might not be working anymore, but the residuals are still coming in.” He parked the empty wheelbarrow next to the barn and I followed him toward the house.
“It’s only a matter of time before somebody sees me and posts it all over social media, but I’m trying to delay that as long as I can.” He sighed. “We have a contractor almost ready to start replacing the fence around the property with a much higher one.”Holy shit.They’d told me this ranch was seventy acres. I couldn’t imagine how much that amount of fencing would cost.
I looked past the house toward the lush foliage of the wildlife preserve across the road, and I realized the privacy fence would make that view the next thing Cole sacrificed for his fame.
Chapter Twenty
Cole
I sped through my shower, washing the sheep stink off as fast as I could. Our new flock of five bedraggled sheep and one surprise billy goat were safe and getting acclimated to their new home. Arturo had left, and Jason was cleaning out the trailer and putting it away behind the barn.
Will and I had come inside to get cleaned up. After an awkward near-argument about who was going to use the guest bathroom shower – I didn’t want Will to feel he wasn’t welcome to use the master bedroom or bath, but Will had gotten his way – I wanted to be back out in the living area before Will so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable by himself.
After swiping the comb through my hair and throwing on jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt I shoved my feet into some flip flops – are they still flip flops if they’re leather and cost $300? – and burst out into the hall. Panting slightly, but reassured that I could still hear the shower in the guest bathroom, I made my way to the kitchen at a much more leisurely pace just as Jason came in through the back door.
“You’re done with your shower already?”
“It’s all yours. Will is showering in the guest bathroom.” Jason’s forehead creased and I put up a hand to stop his question. “I know. I told him to use ours, but he kept insisting he didn’t want to kick me out of my own bathroom.”
“Okay, sorry.”
“I get it. I don’t want to put any pressure on him, you know?”
Jason nodded. “I hope he’ll sleep in the bed with us, though. Even if we don’t do anything tonight.” He looked down at himself. His shirt and jeans were streaked with mud, and I was sure he smelled like I had before my own shower. “I’d better go get cleaned up.”
I started emptying the dishwasher when my phone rang. Trixie was Facetiming me.
I tried for an authoritative voice. “It’s your day off, Trixie.”
“You know very well I’m not calling for work. Where’s the guy? I want to meet the guy.” She stared me down through the phone screen. Trixie was only a few inches over five feet tall, and I’d decided early on that she reminded me of an older version of Rihanna who channeled Samuel L. Jackson. Even though Trixie’s official title was Personal Assistant, she and I both knew who was in charge. It wasn’t me.
