Page 138 of A Tower of Half-Truths
“You don’t understand—”
“I think you’ll find I’mplentycapable of understanding,” she said, crossing her arms.
He hung his head. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
He pushed back his chair, rose to his feet, grasped her by the shoulders. As his fingers trailed down her arms, she unfolded them and allowed him to take her hands. In his eyes, Mavery couldn’t glimpse the spark of rapid-fire inspiration. Rather, his thoughts seemed more akin to water circling a drain.
“For my entire life—before I was a wizard, or even an assistant—there have been lofty expectations placed upon me. Expectations that few others are subjected to. Trust me when I say, if there were another option, I would seize it in a heartbeat. But I know that I failed Seringoth today, and only through extreme measures will I regain his favor. Besides…” He sighed. “I can’t help but feel as though everything has been leading to this. I have an obligation to finish what I started, for Conor’s sake.”
“Whatever you do,don’tdo this for him,” Mavery said as herstomach twisted into knots. “Don’t do this for the person who—”
“I know what he did, but even that didn’t warrant a death sentence. If I complete my research, then at least his death won’t have been in vain. I owe him that much—”
“You don’t owe him a godsdamned thing!”
“That’s not foryouto decide!” Alain snapped.
Mavery recoiled, releasing his hands. For a moment, she simply blinked at him, unable to voice a response. His hands clenched and unclenched into fists as he gazed downward.
“I’m…I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, strained. “I know cracking the temple won’t bring him back, it won’t change the past. But Imusttry to finish what I started. If not for him, then for myself.”
Mavery sighed. “Fine. When are we going?”
He looked up. “Weare not going anywhere. This is something I must do alone.”
“Like hells you will! You’ve never even been to the temple.”
“Neither have you.”
“I’ve gotten close enough to know that going it alone would be suicide. The temple is the least of your worries. Can you handle yourself against wild demonspawn, highwaymen, navigating therealwilderness? This won’t be a cozy little hike outside the city walls.”
“I know, and that’s precisely why you shouldn’t come with me.”
“No, that’s precisely why Ishouldcome with you.”
“But you’re…” He raked his fingers through his hair as his gaze darted between Mavery’s face and the far corners of the room. It finally settled on the kitchen door. “I need…something…help me think.”
He turned and headed to the kitchen. Mavery began to follow him, but a full day in her new dress boots had done a number on her feet. A single step was all she could manage before unlacing the boots and tossing them aside. Hiking up her skirt and ignoring the ache from her fresh blisters, she hurried toward the clatter coming from the kitchen.
“I swear,” she muttered, “if you’ve maimed yourself on another cup…”
When she entered the kitchen, he was rifling through his collection of tea tins as though his life depended on choosing the right one. Mavery heaved a sigh that was tinged with both frustration and relief. She came to his side, lowered his hands, and took them in hers.
“Talk to me,” she said. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
He uttered a single nervous laugh. “I’m afraid that would take all night.”
“Then we’ll stay up all night if need be.”
He smiled, though his eyes were misty. “Even when I’m an utter mess, even when I plan to barrel straight toward uncertain death, you refuse to leave my side.” His left hand slipped from her grasp and traveled upward to rest against her cheek. “What did I do to deserve someone like you?”
His fingertips traced the scar across her nose, trailed down her other cheek, brushed her lower lip. She leaned into his touch, eager to feel his mouth against hers, but she could tell there was more he wanted—needed—to say. His dark eyes were filled with enough adoration to render her breathless.
“I keep thinking back to my accident…how you revived me.” He leaned forward, rested his forehead against hers. “Ever since that night, you’ve brought me back to life in countless ways. I love you, Mavery. You’ve become so precious to me. So much so, I can’t let you join me on this trip, not when there’s such great risk involved. How could I, when I can’t bear the thought of losing you?”
“And what ifIlostyou? If you died out there alone, whether at the temple or on the road to it, what would I be left with?” She cupped his face between both hands. “I love you, too, but I want to love more than the memory of you.”
He leaned back slightly as his eyes widened. “I…hadn’t considered…”
