Page 78 of Thorns That Bloom
“Yes. Y-yes, I’m just…trying to protect you, Sam. Oh, my sweet Sam, I just want you to feel better. I can’t bear seeing you like this. You d-don’t deserve this.”
I hate hearing him so tense and sad.
“Okay.”
“Are you sure? I’ll only try to calm you down a little, yeah? I’ll be careful.” His warm hand is on my cheek, and I press into it with a nod. Closing my eyes, with my teeth holding my bottom lip to stop it from quivering, I let out an exhale and rest against him again. “It’s alright, Sam. It’s going to be okay. Both of you are going to be okay.”
Theo’s voice echoes in my ears, almost like we’re in a cave. The horrific pounding of my heart and the distracting buzzing of my mind slowly give way as his scent fills me. It tickles my nose and the inside of my skin. On my tongue, it’ssweet.
The more I focus—the more I completely surrender myself to this idea of being taken care of by him—the more Theo’s pheromones permeate my being. Like this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be. How everything is supposed to be.
An alpha, soothing his omega. Radiating the most earnest care, out from his very core. His very scent, what makes himhim, speaking true and getting used for good.
I make some sort of sound—a moan or a groan of relief—that makes Theo almost jerk. We both open our eyes, staring at each other.
“You’re not trembling as much anymore,” he says, a hesitant, hopeful smile growing on his face. “And your breathing’s settled. Good. That’s… I wasn’t sure it was going to work. I’ve never really done that before. N-not like this.”
He’s never used his pheromones to affect an omega?
Of course he hasn’t… It’s Theo.
I blink and look down, hit with an abrupt sense of utter exhaustion. My eyes are heavy and itchy and raw. I feel the snot and tears drying all over my face, and now that my minddoesn’t sound like a nuclear reactor about to explode, I’m calm enough to notice the fluttering movements inside me.
“I think I scared her,” I mutter with my hand on my belly, nearly slurring my words.
Theo gently puts his hand over mine. “I’m sure she’s better now, too. You must be so tired, lovely. Let’s get you to bed, okay? Everything is going to be so much clearer after having a nap.”
In all the chaos, I didn't even do what I wanted to, I realize. I didn’t see his face when I told him. I couldn’t see what reflected back at me.
Though, that idea seems absurd now. When I glance at Theo, I don’t understand why I ever doubted him in the first place. Of course he was horrified. He still is. Behind that comforting, firm mask of a responsible alpha, I see his pain.
“I’m sorry…”
He frowns. “What for? St— Come on, I’ll take you to your bedroom,” he orders softly and helps me get up.
I’m a little lightheaded and shaky, but Theo manages to help me to my room. There, I shed my sweater and pants—while he hesitantly stands by, facing away from me—and then slip under the blanket.
The bed is cold. And big.
Empty. Too empty.
Theo darts his eyes over me. “Do you need water? Anything?”
Slowly, I lie down on my left side with my face pressed into the pillow and my arms held against my chest tightly. I’ll probably have to get up to pee in about an hour. And I am thirsty, but I don’t want him to leave. Not for a second.
I might be out of my mind, but I reach out my trembling hand and tap it on the mattress in front of me. Theo’s eyes widen in response.
I swallow the lump of embarrassment and uncertainty blocking my throat before speaking. “I don’t want to be alone,” I whisper.
Theo bites the inside of his lip, clearly calculating the risks of his next move.
“Are you sure, Sam?”
“I’m sure.”I feel safe with you,I say only with my eyes.
When Theo hesitantly kneels down and starts getting on the bed, I shift back to make space for him. Constantly watching me like he expects me to snap and scream for him to leave, he lowers himself so we face each other. His arm stays awkwardly suspended in the air under the blanket until I take it and let him rest it on the side of my stomach.
The way his heart hiccups is visible on his face, even in the low light and over his calming pheromones. He meets my gaze, lips parted, eyes strangely glistening, and I rest my head down again, settling without a word.
