Page 76 of Thorns That Bloom
Sinking even further into someone’s warm touch—that woman’s, maybe—I suddenly feel faint and have to close my eyes. There’s more commotion, pushing, shoes squeaking against the floor from friction, and shouting from a distance.
Did more people join in? I don’t know. His voice becomes distant, but it still booms through my bones, penetrating all the way to the marrow. “You can’t— Get your fucking hands off me! You can’t keep me away, goddammit!”
When I blink again and glance around, I realize I’m on my knees. Someone’s holding me around the shoulders as I tremble and sway with every hysteric, shivering breath.
“Should we call the police?”
“I don’t— I don’t know. I don’t know what’s that right thing to…Fuck. I need to get him somewhere safe. I’ll take him home. Sam?”
Gasping, I look up when someone else’s hand touches me. It’s not the monster as I’ve feared, but Theo. Warm, loving, tender Theo, and his beautiful eyes. I can barely see them over my burning tears. “Shh, it’s… Can I touch you to help you up? Can you show me to your car? I’ll drive you home, okay? It’s alright. It’s alright.”
My mind’s all frizzy. I nod, only half sure what I’m even agreeing to.
I just want to get away. Away from him. From the possibility of seeing him again. Fromallof this.
Theo helps me stand. Wrapping his steady arm aroundmy shoulders, he twists the other with my elbow and leads us outside. Somehow, my trembling hand finds the car key in my pocket, and I hand it to him.
I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.
“It’s okay. He’s gone,” Theo whispers while shielding us from the pouring rain with his jacket, almost like he can read my thoughts. “This one, yeah?” he asks, and before I manage to say anything, he clicks the fob and the car unlocks.
He sits me in the passenger seat, putting the seat belt carefully over my belly.
When he goes around and gets behind the wheel, a sliver of rationality makes it past the thick fog of fear and panic in my mind. “You c-can’t…”
“Don’t worry,” he says with a soothing expression. “I know how to drive, I just don’t have a car…or a driving license. But I promise I won’t crash. I’ll be really careful, alright? And if we get stopped, I’ll just say I made you do this. You won’t get in trouble, I swear.”
The steady stream of his words lulls me into silence. Staring blankly at the dashboard and rubbing my hand over my belly, I spend the next however long it takes for us to get home motionless. My address is in the car’s navigation system, so I don’t have to worry about telling Theo where to go. I don’t even think I could manage that. I’m numb and tired, and my thoughts are like fog, slipping through my fingers.
The longer I sit there, the more exhausted I feel. Like what just happened has completely drained all the strength and will to do anything out of me. Each time I want to go back and remember, my body locks up, so I close my eyes sharply and shake my head, trying to protect myself, to build a wall.
Deep down, I know I need to panic and cry and freak out to release this nagging tension, but not now. Not yet. Not until I’m safe.
Somehow, we make it. Theo leads me up the stairs, and I open the door into my apartment.
But the moment I step in, all my inhibitions melt away in an instant. The floodgates burst wide open, and I start sobbing uncontrollably before the door’s even closed behind us.
“It’s alright. You can let it out. You’re safe, lovely. I promise,” Theo whispers, patting me on the back and cradling my shoulders. Shaking my head, I fight the desperate urge to just fall down on my knees, but Theo’s presence somehow keeps me standing. He holds me, pulls my coat off, and leads me to the living room where I collapse on the couch, once again reduced to a trembling, crying bundle of nothing but pain.
The wall I’ve built is gone, and all I see when I close my eyes now is his face.
Brandon McCarthy.
“Fuck. Oh, fuck!” I mumble, digging my fingers into my hair. “This can’t be…this can’t be happening. He found me. He found us. How did he—”
“Shhh… Sam, look at me,” Theo says. I blink away the tears pouring out of my eyes and see him kneeling on the ground between my legs, holding my hand. His face is twisted into a pained, uneasy expression.
He has no idea what’s going on. Who that man was. What he’s done.
“It’s okay now.”
“N-no, it’s not!” I bark at him. I can tell he’s doing what he can to appear collected and to soothe me, but he’s wrong. “He said he thought he was the father. He…he wants to take her away from me,” I say, my teeth chattering, while wrapping my arms around myself. “He’s one of them. He is— Theo, he’s one of the…” My mind splinters again and my vision goes all blurry so I shut my eyes tightly, leaning over.
I feel him rest his forehead against mine, almost holding me up. “I know… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it,” I whimper, trembling more and more, my body cold and on fire and numb, all at once. “They did things to me. Things I didn’t want.”
Theo squeezes my hand sharply, as if my words just caused him physical pain. “I know. You don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to talk or think, let’s just… Breathe, okay? Do you want some water? What can I do to help you, Sam?”
