Page 56 of Thorns That Bloom
I ask myself that when we walk through the winding halls of the obstetrics unit, and Theo follows a few steps after me like a puppy.
I ask myself that as we sit down in the waiting room, surrounded by various couples in different stages of pregnancy, and for the first time, I don’t feel that pathetic pang of jealousy.
Which is ridiculous—Ishouldstill be jealous. Theo isn’t my partner. We’re not like these people. He isn’t the father of my child, and he’s only here because I let my emotions get the better of me and wasn’t keeping up with my schedule like anyresponsible adult would.
The door opens, and my doctor pokes her head out. “Mr. Snyder,” she announces softly, as she always does. We’ve gotten here just in time.
I stand sharply and notice that Theo pauses behind me. He blinks at me with confusion, stuck in the middle of the motion between sitting and standing up. “Should I… Do you want me to stay out here, or—”
God, this is so awkward and weird.
I have no one else to blame for that but myself.
I can’t just let him sit out here, can I? What would that look like to the other people in the room? Who would bring someone with them only to make them wait outside?
“You can come in,” I say in a low voice, turning before he meets my eyes. I enter the office, kneading my hands together to distract myself. The doctor waits for me to settle in the chair like she always does, with the same professional, pleasant expression as ever, but when Theo comes into the room and closes the door, even she can’t hide her surprise.
“We have an audience today,” she notes lightly while clicking something on her computer.
Theo and I share a quick, uneasy look. He takes a seat on the chair beside me. The one that’s always empty.
“Yes,” I say plainly.
“Lovely. It’s nice to meet your…” Her eyes shift to Theo.
“I’m–I’m not the father or anything,” Theo blurts out, sounding all flustered. “Just a friend. I’m here for moral support,” he clarifies further, his voice getting higher and higher with each word. Why the hell ishenervous?!
The doctor barely suppresses a chuckle and nods, turningback to her computer with the corners of her mouth slightly raised. I stare down at my feet.
“So, how are we feeling, Sam?” she asks after a moment.
“Tired.”
She gives me a smile of understanding. “I don’t think that’s going to get any better, unfortunately. The third trimester is kicking in, but you’re almost to the finish line, and you’re doing great so far.” Every few words, she glances at Theo behind me, like she wants to make him feel like he’s still a part of the conversation.
“Any headaches? Any vision changes? Concerning swelling in your hands or feet?”
“My feet get a little swollen at the end of the day sometimes,” I admit, looking down at my ankles.
“That is quite normal.”
Just as the baby kicks me in the side, I remember. “The round ligament pain I complained about at the beginning of the pregnancy started up again. It’s not as sharp and intense anymore. More...dull now,” I say, touching the sides of my stomach. The doctor keeps nodding with interest. “If I walk too much, it feels like the muscles are going to tear with the weight of my womb.” And the baby still has ways to go…
“Have you been wearing the belly belt I recommended? It might be time to start using it to relieve the tension. We’ll take a look during the physical exam, too, to make sure it’s nothing else.”
I avert my eyes with a faint, shameful smirk. “Ididbuy it… It’s lying in the nursery. I’ll start to use it.”
“The baby’s only going to get bigger, so definitely do that to relieve as much discomfort as you can. Have you found thatthe growth comes in these smaller spurts? It’s usually a few days when you might feel the most uncomfortable until your uterus and your body somewhat adjust to the expansion. Then you get a couple of days that are more comfortable, and the same cycle repeats.”
“Ah. Yeah, that’s…exactly how it feels, actually.”
She looks pleased, and it’s like someone’s turned the volume down on my worries.
After typing what I’ve told her into the computer, the doctor calls in a nurse, and we go through some more of the typical tests. She checks my blood pressure and has me pee in a little container to check my urine for gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Before the ultrasound, she measures the size of my uterus, placing the measuring tape from the top of my pubic bone to the top of my belly.
The entire time, Theo sits on his chair like he’s frozen. The only thing that’s moving is his eyes as they dart from me to the doctor. He’s hanging onto her every word, barely even noticing when I keep checking up on him.
“Everything is looking just about textbook,” she announces enthusiastically. “Now, let’s do the ultrasound, shall we?”
