Page 4 of Thorns That Bloom
That’s right. I have to do everything I can to put this behind me. No matter what anyone thinks, I need this fresh start.
“No matter what, we’re going to be happy here,” I whisper gently. “I promise…”
?
Sitting on the sage green sofa in the reception area and tapping my foot against the ground, I wonder if it’s not too late to turn around and run. My stomach is in knots. My back feels drenched in sweat. It’s been so long since I’ve had a first day at a new job, and my current circumstances make it that much harder.
“Mister Snyder!” I shoot up the moment I hear the voice, before even finding out where it’s coming from. “Welcome,” says the woman rushing in from the elevators. She’s slim and polished, wearing a flattering black pantsuit. Her heels clack against the tile floor of the vestibule as she makes her way toward me.
Rocking my most convincing, confident smile, I accept her hand when she offers it. “Hello,” I say after quickly clearing my throat.
“So nice to meet you. I am Sandra Randall, the head of the department,” she announces with a perfect customer-friendly voice. Her teeth are straight and as white as pearls, shining against her flawless brown skin. “Welcome to our northern branch. We are delighted to have you here.”
I bow my head with a polite expression and try not to feel overwhelmed by her. She seems genuine, if not a littleoverzealous.
“I um…thank you. I’m happy to start here. Gorgeous building,” I add quickly. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice my trembling hands, which I press firmly against my thighs.
Still smiling from ear to ear, she gestures for me to go with her. “Yes, yes. A fairly new build compared to most of the city. I will take you to the offices now,” she says while leading me toward the door on the other side of the lobby from the elevators. I follow, focusing on her voice rather than the pounding of my heart inside my ears. “Your recommendation was very good. Hardworking and precise, it said. And I can certainly see it! I have a sixth sense for that sort of thing.”
Though her positive, high-energy aura seems genuine, I can’t help but feel the anxiety slowly wiggle its way into my mind.How much does she know? How much do they all know about the reason why I was transferred?
She must knowsomething. Must have heard whispers. They tried to keep what happened as hush-hush as they could, but people talk, right?
The idea of her and everyone here knowing the ugly truth and only playing nice while thinking the same thing they all do makes me nauseous. Thankful for her to be walking in front of me, I scrunch my nose and close my eyes briefly to collect myself.
We go through a long hall decorated with various technical drawings and pictures of buildings. The air feels stiff, or maybe I’m just losing it.
Come on, Sam. Breathe.
“We have quite a few omegas working here with us, so you won’t have to worry about being an odd one out,” Sandra says,nearly making me halt. I tighten my fists, willing my legs to continue moving.
I can’t break down every time someone mentions anything to do with this.
“I see.”
“We are aware you are pregnant, of course,” she says, briefly turning to me again. “Congratulations! We take the comfort of our gestating employees extremely seriously, so do not be shy to let me, or anyone else, know about any issues you might have! Also, feel free to take breaks as often as you need.”
I listen to her, wondering if I’ve always been this distrustful of people. Sandra’s voice vibrates with excitement, and perhaps some taught, HR-approved politeness on top. Yet I can’t help feeling like she’s mocking me somehow.
She doesn’t know—I repeat those words over and over inside my head, trying to get it through my skull, but the uncomfortable sensation prevails.
I don’t want to be this way. To see the world through this bitter lens. I despise how they ruined everything for me, how they changed me.
Not that I was a ray of sunshine before. But now I can’t help feeling like everything around me is only a pretty little facade hiding the horrendous truth underneath. Exactly like those men in their fancy suits, wearing expensive watches and shiny shoes, masquerading as charming, respectable people…until it was all stripped away the moment they entered that restroom.
“Are you alright?” the woman asks, making me blink and look at her. We’ve stopped, and she studies me with a cautious gaze. “Today must be very stressful for you. My sister-in-law was barely able to keep any food down for the first half of her pregnancy, and stress only made it worse. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be.”
I shake my head. “Oh, no, I’m fine. You just walk fast,” I say with a chuckle.
Sandra makes this expression as if I’m a little lost puppy. “Dear! Sorry about that. Long legs,” she says, grinning awkwardly. “But we are right outside the main office area, so before we get in—do you have any other concerns or questions?”
I dart my eyes toward the door ahead of us with a ‘Design Engineering’ sign above it. There are indeed about eight thousand and twenty-five fears and concerns burdening me right now, but those are not for her to deal with. And completely irrational for the most part.
While narrowing my brows and adjusting the strap of my bag, which is cutting into my shoulder, I force a nervous smile. “I just hope I can get along with everybody and be a valuable member of the team, even in mycondition,” I say, putting on that submissive, mellow expression I’ve used my entire life. It puts others at ease. Lets them think I am exactly who they expect me to be.
She brings her hands together with a clap that makes me jolt slightly. “You’re so very sweet. I’m sure everyone will adore you. No need to worry.”
Visibly satisfied, Sandra opens the door that leads into the open area. The space is airy, with large glass windows on one side. People quickly look up from their computers and stations once they notice their supervisor and come to welcome me. Their faces are friendly and warm. Still, I can’t help but scan fordanger within every single one of them. Nobody stands out, thankfully, so my twitchy subconsciousness can rest. At least for now…
