Page 110 of Thorns That Bloom
The head goes in smoothly. I arch my back off the bed and raise one of my legs, desperately trying to relax. Because I want him. I want to be connected and close, but…even though there’s no pain, Theo’s girth is nothing like him fucking me with his fingers.
An uneasy sensation bubbles at the bottom of my stomach. I tamp it down.
“Keep going,” I say, breathing out shakily.
With his hands gripping my thighs and pulling them up, he slots himself deeper. Thefullnessof it passes through my entire being. It’s overwhelming. Overpowering. I continue reminding myself to look, to see it’s Theo, my wonderful Theo, but the sight of someone penetrating me sends cold shivers downmy spine.
“Sam.”
I jerk, quickly meeting his gaze. For a second, it’s like I completely forgot where I was, even though my eyes were wide open.
“Oh, Sam. You’re trembling.” I wince when he pulls out. Swallowing hard, I look down. He’s right. My arms and legs are shaking. Frowning in confusion, I feel Theo’s hot body press against me as he hugs me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re okay,” he whispers, gently running his fingers through my hair. “Do you want me to give you space? What do you need?”
I feel confused and shaken and so terribly out of control.
“No, I…I’m okay.”
Why am I so cold out of nowhere? Why is this happening? I want him.
“I want you,” I say, urgent and clear. When I try to pull away, he doesn’t let me, holding on tight with a tender ‘shhhh’.
“I know you do.” There’s that wariness in his voice I hate hearing.
“I mean it. I’m ready, this is just— I…”
Shame takes over. Why am I not ready? Why can’t I do this? Is it the pheromones in the air? Is that what makes it too much? Or is there no reason at all and I’m just broken?
Theo must be able to read my emotions. When he pulls away to see my face, I barely hold in the tears prickling in my eyes. “I just need a moment. I want to do it, Theo. Fuck, I’m not scared of you. I’m not, I just want to…” Words leave me, frustration and helplessness making it almost impossible to get any of my jumbled thoughts out.
He kisses me on the forehead so tenderly I want to fall apart in his arms.
“I know. God, I want you too, but there’s no rush.” Hesmiles at me, his eyes full of patience. “We don’t have to do that today, lovely. Or tomorrow. Or ever, for that matter. It’s okay.”
It scares me to know that he really means that. That if I never said yes, he would never push. Like a stupidly perfect paragon of consideration and patience. And yet I can’t get my body to let go and allow Theo in.
Why the fuck can’t I?!
“I’m sorry…”
He kisses me again, this time on the cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for, lovely. You put too much pressure on yourself about this. What was it that Dr. Stewart told you?”
I roll my eyes and sigh.“Be gentle and patient with yourself.”
Theo smirks, gratified. He leans in to touch the tip of his nose to mine. “That’s right. There’s nothing that makes penetration better or more special than any other thing we can do. Or more enjoyable,” he adds, running his tongue over my lower lip before I sweep in and pull him into a kiss.
I’m not shaking anymore. My body eases into the comfort again, even if the sense of disappointment and embarrassment stays at the back of my mind, weighing me down slightly.
Needily, I press my cock into his hip. “I’m still horny,” I whisper.
“I’m aware,” Theo says, husky voice strained with lust. “There are other ways I can fuck you. If that is still what you want, hm? Squeeze your thighs together for me.”
I follow his instructions, excitement throbbing through the base of my cock. As I lie on my back, Theo holds both of my legs together, lifting them slightly, right under my knees. He adjusts himself, kneeling while he rests my feet overhis shoulder.
He drags his fingers against the direction of my hair on my thighs before gripping my thigh, and thrusts his hips forward. I clench my teeth and inhale sharply when his cock brushes over my balls. Staying there for a moment, he meets my eyes for assurance, then thrusts between my thighs again.
We both moan softly, the sensation a little unusual but most definitely pleasurable. Especially when Theo buries his entire shaft into the soft flesh and ends up pressing his head against my hole at the end of the motion.
“Fuck,” I curse under my breath, desperately grabbing at the sheet.
